Messages in the Grass
by sophiesix
Summary: Past and future collide as Flame and the others work to organise a meeting between Souls and humans. It is an opportunity for peace, but also an opportunity for disaster? Follows 'Light Through Darkness'
1. Chapter 1

**

* * *

**

**Messages in the Grass**

**

* * *

**

_"We leave messages for each other in the grass… you can't see them unless you know what to look for…"_

Past and future collide as Flame and the others work to organise a meeting between Souls and humans. It is

an opportunity for peace, but also an opportunity for disaster?

**

* * *

**

**Revealed**

***

"Are you going to tell him?" Dorsey asked.

"Are you?" I replied. We drove the lead car, and the boys were following in the other.

"Maybe he already knows," she said, "do we wait til he brings it up?"

"It's not like he has any relatives left," she added. I felt a little guilty about being uncharitably pleased about this.

"We have to tell him," I said, shaking my head.

The road ate away at the distance separating us with a kind of endless inevitability that held both fascination and dread. I thought back to the day when all had been revealed…

***

"It is so _good_ to be home!" Henry said striding through the long grass, kicking up grass pollens and moths in little bursts of fireworks as he passed. Happily I breathed in the sweet warm scent of the grasslands, the darker damper fug of the forest at its edges. Summer camp was only an hour's walk away now, and it felt like we had been away forever. Henry had taken the lead early, him and Dorsey talking gleefully about the friends and family they had missed. Alex and I walked hand in hand a little behind. He watched me enjoying the valley, his strong, quiet face hinting at a smile without quite getting there. We started up a ridge bordered by a copse of trees, and the wind fled through the leafy branches as we stalked up the slope. Margie's camp had been a wonderful respite after the shooting, but nothing eased the soul like the familiar undulations of this place.

We crested the hill, and summer camp became visible in the valley below. If you knew where to look, that is. It was split into smaller camps that sheltered under groups of trees and shrubs, and from a distance, appeared like any other piece of forest and grassland.

Henry began to run, whooping, and Dorsey danced after him.

"Wait," Alex said, hand on my arm. I looked back at him askance, my feet aching to keep going down that one last slope.

"I wanted to talk to you before, well, before everyone else is around," he said. His face was strangely closed. Tensed.

"What is it?" I asked, puzzled, and a little concerned.

"There's something I just can't stop wandering about," he said, frowning, "When you were… in my head, I saw an image of Bhaskar… floating in a pool." I nodded, tears in my eyes before I could stop them.

"It's the last time I ever saw him." I said softly. The ache of his loss would always be there, but having Alex beside me made me stronger somehow.

Alex was quiet for a while.

"He had… white feet."

"Uh, yeah, I suppose he did."

"But he was wearing red shoes that day."

"Yes. White socks, I suppose."

"He didn't wear socks when he was swimming. He hated wearing socks when it was hot."

I frowned. It was stinking hot that day.

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know. Probably nothing. Forget about it." We stood in the gently swaying grasses and watched people appear like magic from the trees and swarm around Henry and Dorsey. Alex squeezed my hand and we descended.

***

We arrived at the summer camp to find everyone celebrating. Henry and Dorsey were swamped with people, and as Alex and I approached, the mob encircled us too. Everyone was teeming around, wanting to see us, talk to us, touch us, make sure we were really back.

Edith, less curled up from her bad joints but looking a little older, glowed with happiness to see us again; her family restored. By her side, George quietly shone too. And of course, I felt the all too familiar ache that was the space where Bhaskar was not.

Initial excitement over, we made our way over to Edith and George's camp to unpack.

"Hey, look, Dorsey's new boyfriend!" young David said, pulling a piece of paper out of Dorsey's disemboweled pack.

"Aw, isn't he handsome!"

"Not with those eyes he's not," Jake growled. I looked up to see everyone crowding around to see Dorsey's sketch of Falling Smoke. I smiled and got back to unpacking.

"Oh that's Falling Smoke, the doctor that saved Flame," Dorsey said easily, "He looked kind of familiar somehow…" The voices drained away and there was silence. I looked up, puzzled. Everyone was staring at the sketch.

"What, do you recognize him?" Dorsey asked, with a sudden tenseness in her voice.

"You don't?" George said tersely. Dorsey craned to her neck to get a better look.

"His name is not Falling _Smoke_," said Edie slowly and clearly, "It's Falling _Snow_."

I looked at Dorsey in shock.

Falling Snow?

_Falling Snow_?

That was impossible.

I found myself walking backwards, turned, and walked swiftly away.

"No, Alex, how about you leave this one to me," I heard Dorsey say softly.

***

"You alright?" Dorsey asked, catching up with me as I flowed through the long grass, trailing my heads through the spiky seed heads.

"He's supposed to be dead," I said, almost managing to keep the shake from my voice. Images conjured from Edith and George's stories flashed through my mind, but now in place of a generic young man, there was Falling Smoke with Burning Lights, sitting together, smiling… Except, of course, that it wasn't Falling Smoke.

"Well, he's not. It would kind of explain a lot, you know, the way you guys are so close-"

"I didn't know who he was! I didn't recognize him-"

"No but he recognized you," Dorsey said, grabbing my hand and making me stop, "He's been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you."

"Dorsey, stop," I said. The breeze had picked up, agitating the grasses and leaves in an echo of my inner disarray.

"But-,"

"Please just stop," I said. I closed my eyes. I had to think. Falling Smoke. I had thought I knew him. But if he recognized me, if he had Falling Snow's memories… he had never said... the thoughts ran round and around chasing each other in my head dizzyingly.

"I don't understand Dorsey," I said. "How can he be Falling Snow? Falling Snow is _dead_." I was shivering as if a ghost had walked through me.

"Well, I guess, he was shot," Dorsey reasoned, "but I guess the Souls healed him. For Falling Smoke."

"Does he know about Falling Snow?" I wondered.

"He should have his memories, shouldn't he?"

"I don't know," I whispered.

"I guess we don't really know what he thinks til we talk to him."

I groaned at the thought.

"You don't seem... particularly pleased about this," Dorsey noted.

"No," I said, "I'm not."

"Oh good," Dorsey said with quiet relief. I looked at her, confused.

"Well… you know… he's supposed to have been worth dying for…"

"Dorsey!" I said, exasperated, "You are talking about Falling Snow! I never even knew him."

"Alright, Ok, I know," she said, "I can't help but wondering, this whole Soul thing isn't exactly cut and dried."

"Alex will be pleased," she added. I looked at her, frustrated.

"Why on earth would Alex be pleased?"

"Well, you did just kind of walk off without a word… I'll bet he's wandering right about now whether you're about to bolt off and join your soulmate…"

I made a disgusted noise.

"Well, you might want to go and put his mind at ease then," Dorsey hinted. I sighed. Dorsey always seemed to know the right thing to do.

"You're right," I said.

"He's just over there," she muttered, pointing with her eyes. I smiled in thanks and walked over to him. He did look worried, hands in his pockets, stooped, mouth tense. Silly man.

"Hey," I said, smiling, put my hands in his. "Sorry for running off on you."

"Understandable," he said, but the worried look was still there.

"Got a bit of a shock," I said. He nodded, watching me.

"You seem... happier now," he said uncertainly.

"Dorsey said you needed cheering up," I said, "she reckons you'd think I'd suddenly turn into Burning Lights and chase after the good doctor. You wouldn't think that would you?"

A small smile slowly lit his face.

"No, because that would be silly, wouldn't it?' he said gently.

"Exactly," I said. "Burning Lights likes Falling Snow. But she's dead and he's gone. And Hungry Flame likes Alex Flynt."

His smile widened.

"I think the word you're looking for there is 'love'," he said. The forest birds rang out an alarm call in the wind while we stood in companionable silence. Alex pulled on my hands and we walked back to camp.

And I wondered what on earth I was going to say to Falling Smoke next time I saw him.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2 Driving

**Driving**

*******

"Hey, if Falling Smoke was inserted into Falling Snow, that would have been the same time as you were inserted right?" Dorsey said, leaning her forehead on the window so her voice reverberated with the engine.

"Yeah, of course," I said, glancing away from the road, "so what?"

"So you both came from the Fire World. You would have arrived here in the same ship. Which means you would died at the same time on the Fire World." She looked at me significantly.

"Which means," she said finally, "You would have _lived _at the same time."

***

When we got back into mobile range I pulled over and called Falling Smoke. Dorsey watched me intently as it rang. I shot her a look, got out of the car and leaned on her door to keep her inside.

He answered sleepily.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" I said softly.

"Hungry Flame," he said, and I could hear his smile, "Just sleeping off a double shift. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said, "fit as a fiddle."

"You've got a good heart," he murmured, yawning. "I should know." His voice made me smile. "I've just about put your whole body back together by now, surely." I blushed to think that this was probably true and searched desperately for a part of me that had escaped his treatment.

"Oh I don't know… my wrist looks alright."

"Right wrist? You broke it in that car accident. Now the left, if I remember correctly, should be a goer."

I took a breath and focused.

"Do you have memories of your body, before implantation?" I said in a rush. There was silence on the other end of the line. I held my breath and waited.

"Why do you ask?" he said carefully.

"Well…" I said, "I don't, but most people do…"

I waited.

"You remember I was telling you about the ones that don't fade?" he said.

"Uh-huh," I replied, chewing my lip.

"My host was one of those ones," he said softly. I was silent, stunned.

"He… thought he had a lot to live for," Falling Smoke said carefully. _Now is the time to say something,_ I thought. But I didn't know what to say.

"I could see his memories," he went on, "It was like, like I was living them too sometimes."

"You didn't fight him?"

"I didn't want to at first. I was newly arrived…" he trailed off into silence.

"What happened to him?" I whispered.

"Eventually, he just… faded away," he said. Somehow I felt the loss.

"He knew you, you know? He showed me memories of you. A lot of memories."

"I... I never knew him," I whispered.

"No. No, you had no memories at all, did you?" he sounded regretful. "But he remembered you."

"Kind of funny, isn't it? How we are back together again after all these years?" he mused.

I frowned, stiffening.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You might not remember, but your body does," he said. I was already shaking my head.

"You're wrong," I said firmly, "you're getting confused by someone else's memories." He was silent for a time, but I waited him out.

"Are you guys coming into town now?" he asked.

"Yesss," I said warily.

"Meet me at the valley camp," he said, "I've got a proposition for you."

***

We set up camp a few kilometers off the road, signaling to Margie's camp to let them know who we were.

Dorsey made us some tea and we relaxed around the fire. I was dozing off on Alex's chest when Falling Smoke's car pulled up, his headlights jarring in our ember-lit world.

"Have I got a deal for you!" Falling Smoke announced. We all sat up and tried to look awake.

"Have you heard of Melts Blue Ice?" he continued, and I nodded, ""It's possible we could have an audience with him."

"Who?" Dorsey asked.

"A leading light amongst Souls." Falling Smoke said.

"I didn't think you guys had leaders," Alex said.

"He's not a leader, exactly, he's just… well connected. Influential," I said. "How would we meet him?"

"Our good man is known to attend the opera." Falling Smoke said.

"The opera?" Dorsey asked. Falling Smoke nodded.

"With ballet segments and everything," he said.

"Aren't operas a bit… violent for Souls?" Alex asked.

"We like to keep up these human traditions" Falling Smoke smiled.

"Imagine that, waking up in a ballerina's body…" Henry said thoughtfully.

"And this Melting Ice guy will be there? That would be great! We should totally do this!" Dorsey said.

"Unfortunately, I think bringing you along would upstage the entertainment," Falling Smoke said.

"Yeah, I suppose," Dorsey said, "But you guys have got to go."

"Flame?" Dorsey said. I glanced at Alex and frowned into the fire.

"It's the best place to try and get a word with him," Falling Smoke said, "He'll be relaxed, comfortable, possibly bored… plus I have reason to believe he'll be fairly receptive to our way of looking at things. I just delivered his wife's baby in an emergency caesarian."

"He has a human child!" Henry said.

"Perfect!" Dorsey said. I looked away uncomfortably.

"I don't know…" I said. The others looked at me and waited.

"Why not?" Dorsey asked, her eyes narrowed.

"You and me, turning up together… It'd look like we were a couple" I said, glancing worriedly at Alex.

"If there's big wigs there, I think you should go," Alex said firmly. I chewed on my lip.

"Can I speak to you a moment?" I said, looking at Falling Smoke as I got up and walked away a little.

"Me and Alex…" I said to him quietly, folding my arms tight.

"Yes. I've noticed," Falling Smoke said dryly. Why was I not comforted?

"You're not upset?" I asked, confused.

"I'm not worried," he said, holding my chin lightly and looking deeply into my eyes. "We are meant to be together. It's our desssstiny."

I shook my head.

"Promise me we're just going as friends, and I'll go to the concert," I said.

"You'll wear a dress?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"Of course," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Can I pick the dress?" he asked. I pushed him away and rejoined the others.

"I don't want it to clash with my tie," he called after me.

"So… you're going?" Dorsey asked.

"Yes, I'm going," I huffed, frowning at the ground.

"When is it?" Dorsey asked.

"Tomorrow night."


	3. Chapter 3 Contacting

**Contacting**

*******

The next day, Dorsey and I cleaned up as best we could in the stream and Falling Smoke drove us into the city. He dropped me off at a dress shop and took Dorsey back to his place. I bought the most sedate dress I could find and caught a taxi to his place.

"Oh that's beautiful!" Dorsey crooned when I came out of the bathroom with the dress on.

"It's not too… clingy?" I asked worriedly, pulling at it. Dorsey batted my hands away. It was an ankle-length fine black knit dress, with a high neck. I had bought it because it covered the most flesh, but I hadn't thought about clinginess.

"It is sooo elegant," Dorsey sighed, making me do a turn, "your hair, unfortunately, is not." She frowned. "Did you even put a brush through it? Don't tell me you were going for some sort of wind-blown look…"

"Meet your desssstiny," Falling Smoke said, entering the room with a flourish in black tie. Dorsey laughed delightedly. I didn't. I didn't like the idea of destiny one bit. Much less Falling Smoke believing he was a part of it.

"Oh you're ready," I said shortly, "Great, let's go." I walked to the garage without a backward glance.

***

The opera was held in the old opera theatre still. I'd never been inside a theatre like this. Bringing up Bhask hadn't lent itself to many opportunities of that sort.

The front entrance was flanked by stone pillars, and crowned in heavy carvings that glowed in the spotlights. True to tradition, the Souls had dressed up. I had never seen so many people dressed so beautifully.

"Stop staring, you heathen," Falling Smoke said, grinning. He led me up the stairs. Several people smiled or nodded at us as we entered, their eyes lingering on me questioningly.

"You come here a lot, don't you?" I whispered. We climbed the inside stairs covered in a rich burgundy carpet. The walls were painted plasterwork presenting classical scenes: angels, warriors, gods.

"Anyone who's anyone comes here, dahling," he said.

"And you're anyone?"

"Not just anyone."

"Oh really." I scanned the crowd, trying to guess who the big wig would be.

"But never have I come so beautifully adorned."

We settled by a balcony overlooking the entrance. People began to flow into the building in earnest, anticipating the bells. Falling Smoke drew closer to me.

"You do look lovely, you know."

"Thanks," I said distractedly.

"I've dreamed of you ever since I got to this planet," he said softly, trying to curl a strand of hair back behind by ear.

"No," I said, frowning and batting his hand away, "you haven't. You've dreamt of _Falling Snow_ dreaming of Burning Lights. Now where is this Melts Blue Ice."

"You know, I'm not so sure he'll make it tonight," Falling Smoke said, staring at me gravely.

"What!" I said through clenched teeth. He rolled his eyes.

"He's right over there." He led me over.

"Falling Smoke! I don't know if I should be praising you or prosecuting you!" Melts Blue Ice called jovially.

"I'm deeply offended, my good man, I would have thought that decision would be obvious," Falling Smoke answered warmly.

"No one ever told me these babies make so much noise! And they're so demanding!"

"Well if you have any questions, I'm sure Hungry Flame here would love to answer them, she brought up a human child by herself you know."

"Single-handedly! I am impressed," he said, shaking my hand. "Charmed to meet you, any fried of Falling Smoke's is a friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you too," I said smiling warmly at him, "Do you have a boy or a girl?"

"A girl, and you?"

"A boy," I said, my smile faltering a little.

"Ah! I hear that boys are harder."

"Maybe, I don't have any comparison," I managed to say.

"You know Hungry Flame, of course," Falling Smoke said easily, "she's the one behind the Human Voice Project."

"Team effort," I said, embarrassed, then bit my lip. I really didn't want to be drawn into a conversation about who the team were exactly.

"Now that's _very_ interesting," Melts Blue Ice said as the bell went for the first act. "Look, there's no time now, shall we meet up afterwards? I'd love to run some ideas past you."

"Sure," I said, surprised.

We waved our goodbyes and went to take our seats. I kept half an eye on Falling Smoke and half an eye on the performance, but I didn't need to have. Falling Smoke was the perfect gentleman.

The story, from what I could gather and from Falling Smoke whispering in my ear, revolved around an icy princess who set out to murder any prince who asked for her hand. The aim seemed to be to sing as loudly and for as long as possible. The beautiful sets and costumes couldn't keep my attention or ever, and I began to cast my eyes around the theatre.

I was relieved when the lights filled the hall, and got up to go. But Falling Smoke held me back.

"This is just a break. That was the first of three acts."

"Oh you're kidding!" I sat back down heavily and we leaned on the balcony, watching the people mill about below.

"So you really enjoy this?" I asked him.

"I take it you're not."

"Why don't they sing normally?"

"It's called opera."

"Why don't they sing in English?"

He laughed and shook his head.

"This is really lost on you isn't it? I suppose it's not a great one to start with."

"Do they sing the _whole_ time?"

"When they're not dying, yes. Even then, sometimes…"

"It's gruesome. You don't expect me to believe people actually like this. Apart from you. We know you're warped."

He smiled softly, as if it were a compliment.

The bell sounded for the second act, and people settled back in their seats. I tried harder to appreciate it. A prince had to answer three riddles or the princess would behead him. If he got them right, he would marry her. Didn't seem like much of a choice to me. And then, when he got them right, he decides she can kill him anyway if she guesses his name by morning. His stupidity was infuriating. I wondered if the Souls thought this was typical human behavior. Probably. They probably studied it as such.

The music was starting to sound less garish in my ears, but I couldn't really bring myself to enjoy it. Maybe if they didn't sing… Finally the lights went up again and Falling Smoke led me downstairs for a drink. Relief washed through me at being released, if only for a moment. Dorsey should thank her lucky stars she couldn't come. No, that was too harsh. Dorsey probably would have enjoyed it. I wondered what they were up to.

"You didn't ever think about finding your family?" I asked Falling Smoke. He shook his head, putting down his drink.

"The bullet, that shot me, it was a Seeker bullet," he said, gazing into the crowd below, "but the angle that it came from… there shouldn't have been any Seekers there."

I stared at him.

"So, you think-"

"I wandered whether there was someone who didn't want me round anymore. Or maybe I was some kind of sacrificial lamb or something. I don't know. Wasn't really conducive for trying to set up a family reunion," he said, smiling wryly, "Besides, where would I start? If I just went there, they'd probably just shoot me."

"Nah, that'd give their location away. Besides, they wouldn't be where you remembered them." No way they would have shot him. But then, what did I know of the way things were back then? It was a long time ago.

"Weird, huh? How we both survived, them thinking us dead?"

"To them, those people are dead. We're not them," I said firmly. He sighed quietly and looked away.

***

The third act involved torture, though stylized for a Soul audience, but I had no stomach for it, and had to turn away. I had been too close to the real thing too many times in the past. Making people do your will through pain or the threat of it. My stomach clenched at the thought. Were we really sitting through this? Falling Smoke took my hand and led me out onto the empty staircase.

"Too much," he said.

"Way too much," I agreed, relaxing with relief in the quiet lobby.

"Oh well, at least you got to meet Melts Blue Ice."

I groaned to think the night wasn't over yet.

"Come on, let's get you something to keep you going."

I followed him out into the cool night.

"Surely nothing will be open now?"

But a corner pub near the theatre was filling with other opera refugees, smiling at each other guiltily. I ordered a pasta; Falling Smoke just got another drink.

"Not hungry?"

"After that? I'm surprised you can stomach pasta."

So it had affected him too. Had he been good at hiding it, or hadn't I been looking? But he _was_ pale. I pushed my plate away.

"No please," he laughed, "you go ahead."

"Have some then."

He grabbed a fork and tasted it. His praise was enthusiastic but still half hearted somehow, and he let me finish it.

***

The opera must have finished soon after I did, because a surge of people began to spill out of the theatre. We joined the crush slowly filtering down the steps. Melts Blue Ice was keeping an eye out for us and waved us over. We followed him home, pulling into the drive of a house much like the one I had lived in with Bhaskar.

Through the windows I could see a woman silhouetted by the orange room lights. She walked up and down with a small bundle in her arms. I was transported back to when Bhaskar was small, his tiny form completely dependent on me, yet a completely independent life in its own right too. It was amazing, beguiling, endlessly fascinating and completely exhausting.

"Coming?" Falling Smoke asked, his arms spread across the top of the open car door, resting his head on his hands, watching me.

"Sorry," I said, unfastening my seatbelt, "just brings back memories." I gave him a small fleeting smile.

"You've had a big night. Are you going to be ok with…" he glanced at the mother and child.

"I'll be fine," I said, taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. "I'd like to meet them."

Melts Blue Ice opened the door as we walked up the steps.

"You made it! Please, come in," he said, "This is my wife, Diane, and our baby Cara, and our Comforter, Drinks In Sunshine." We exchanged greetings and I gravitated closer to the baby. She squirmed and threw her arms about, fretting.

"I'm sorry, she's a bit unsettled," Diane said, her eyes still lit from within despite the fatigue.

"She's beautiful," I breathed, holding out my arms unconsciously. She put Cara into my arms and I wrapped her tightly, holding her close to my chest, rubbing her back, rocking her. It was as if Bhask had never grown up. My eyes shone but I bit my cheek to keep the tears from spilling. Cara grizzled a little longer, but succumbed to the rocking and relaxed, gazing at her father placidly over my shoulder.

"You are a natural!" Drinks In Sunshine whispered. Everyone was gazing at me like I was some kind of wonder.

"Practice I guess," I said thickly, still rocking, "My boy didn't settle well at first. I think you have to train them a bit."

"And how old is your boy now?" Diane crooned, smiling. I gave Falling Smoke an anguished look and turned to walk Cara down into the living room, searching for some mental space. I could hear Falling Smoke come to my rescue behind me, gently explaining about the accident with the Seekers. Diane was quietly horrified. Melts Blue Ice was stunned. I gazed out of the dark windows and pushed away all thoughts but the little bundle of warmth in my arms, happily drooling on my shoulder, lulled by the rocking. I felt a light touch on my arm.

"I'm so sorry," Diane whispered. I tried to smile and a tear escaped. I quickly wiped it on my free shoulder.

"We shouldn't have brought you here tonight," she continued, "It must be very difficult-"

"No," I said, "It's wonderful. Really." I managed a proper smile. "He doesn't feel so far away here." She smiled back at me and I gently returned Cara to her. She settled immediately on her mother's shoulder, falling asleep with her tiny hand clutching at the material of her dress. Her face exuded contentment at being secure in her mother's arms. I quickly blinked away my tears, and we walked back to the others. Diane and Drinks In Sunshine went to put the baby down.

"I've been watching your tv show with interest, my dear," Melts Blue Ice said, taking my arm and taking us though to the lounge. "It's excellent food for thought. I never dreamed there was so much depth and diversity to the human character. But the way they are living…" he shook his head, "It's intolerable. Something must be done. If my Cara were living like that…" his mouth pursed.

"We need to find some better way of handling things. There needs to be discussion, communication both ways," he continued, "I think we need a face to face meeting with the humans."

I looked at him, stunned. A face to face meeting? Humans and Souls?

"You're kidding," I said. He looked puzzled.

"No."

This was major. It could be amazing. Would anyone do it though? How could they trust the Souls? How could we trust the humans not to take advantage of a meeting to kill more Souls? So many different things to consider…

"I can't speak on their behalf… I know some would be very interested… but their safety would have to guaranteed…"

"Of course."

"I'll spread the word. I'll… I'll have to let you know."

"Excellent."

"What might be useful though," I said, careful not to look at Falling Smoke, "Would be a gesture, to help convince the humans it's not some kind of… trap."

"Oh, I see." His puzzled look had returned.

"A gesture of goodwill, if you like," Falling Smoke said, smiling. I flashed a grin at him.

"Exactly," I said, "a diplomatic overture to get everyone off on the right foot."

"Well I don't know what would be appropriate… pens?" Melts Blue Ice asked.

"I was thinking more of clean water, basic food supplies…"

"Really? Well, of course, that's easy. I'll make a note that you will be requisitioning supplies as needed."

We beamed at each other.

"Enchanted to meet you, Hungry Flame," Melts Blue Ice said, shaking my hand.

"I'll be in touch," I replied. Diane came out to say goodbye.

"Thank you for coming," she said.

"No; thank you." I replied, clasping her hands. I didn't know how to thank her – I wasn't even sure what I was thanking her for exactly; a chance to feel close to my lost son? It sounded crazy. But her eyes told me they understood.


	4. Chapter 4 Getting Started

**Getting started**

***

Falling Smoke drove us back to his place. The boys' car was already in the garage, returned from their resupply trip already. We parked in the driveway and unlocked the front door. I could see Alex get up to meet us, inside.

"Thanks for tonight," I said, holding onto Falling Smoke's arm for a moment, "for everything. If you hadn't explained about Bhask…"

"Sh," he said, holding my arms lightly, "don't think about it." I nodded, looking at the floor, concentrating on breathing steadily.

"I will wait for you," he added. I looked at him, stunned.

"I will live longer than he can," Falling Smoke said. The truth of this made me suck my breath in like a sudden pain.

Alex was coming striding along the entry corridor. Falling Smoke released me and stood as relaxed as if nothing had happened.

"Flame, are you alright?" Alex asked.

"I'm fine," I breathed, pushing past him and walking down the corridor. I couldn't deal with Alex right now.

The thought worried me, because normally Alex wasn't someone I needed to cope with. Usually he was the one coping with me.

Dorsey and Henry were watching a movie in the lounge. They turned it off as soon as I came in. I squeezed in next to Dorsey and concentrated on undoing the tiny buckles on my heels.

"So how did it go?" Henry asked. I wanted nothing more than to collapse somewhere and go to sleep as soon as possible. If I didn't get the buckles undone I think I would have cried.

"Very well indeed," Falling Smoke said, sitting on the other sofa, as Alex leant on the wall, arms folded, silent.

"Flame was incredible," he continued, "she had him around her little finger. Like a snake with a mouse, she had him mesmerized, and then went in for the kill, before he even knew what was happening."

I glared at him, kicking off my shoes and sitting on my feet.

"You come dangerously close to lying, for a Soul," I said.

"Well, what happened, then?" Dorset asked, impatient.

"He asked us round to his house," I said wearily, "He wants to have a meeting with Souls and humans together in the one place."

"A congress, to start discussions for change," Falling Smoke added.

"A congress? Humans and Souls together?" Alex said, coming to sit on the arm of Falling Smoke's sofa.

"Face to face." I nodded. I watched them both, sitting almost together but not quite, one wilder, rougher, passionate and careful in equal measures; one neater in his black tie, smoother, with a cold unruffled steadiness and a quiet intensity. One that would live forever, one that would burn through life in a few short decades. I drew in a breath of air to clear these thoughts from my head.

"How would that work?" Dorsey asked.

"Are they going to stop implantations?"

"I don't know, I'm only the messenger." I shrugged. The humans were fascinated, excited, and comments came from everywhere.

"It would have to be on human land."

"No weapons."

"It would only take one Foreks-"

"There will have to be conditions, on both sides. We will have to sort out our terms-"

"Equal numbers of souls and humans."

"_No_ Seekers."

The more I thought about it, the more it seemed the most ridiculously dangerous thing we could possibly be doing. But wasn't it exactly what we wanted too?

"Humans will have to do security."

"But where?"

"Or rather, with who?"

"The humans will need to discuss it. We need some way for them to talk to each other, some kind of messaging system," I mused. Henry sat bolt upright and we all felt silent, staring him.

"Justin's group!" he said, "they were working on a radio-based system. It's mobile, each unit can transmit and receive from any other. But no one will be tracing where the signals are coming from because the Souls don't use it; it's archaic technology in their book." He grinned at us. Alex was nodding.

"This would be perfect," he said, a slow grin beginning to spread across his face, "the groups could talk without fear of being tracked down, listened in to…"

"They could discuss the congress! Sort out who's coming, where, under what terms…" Dorsey was grinning too. The enormity of it was beginning to dawn on me.

***

The boys waited til nightfall the next day to head off for Justin's group, and meanwhile were stuck at Falling Smoke's, compiling lists of human camps to visit, who was the best contact person for them, what order to approach them in. But they couldn't argue about it forever; sleeping was also an important activity. They had to become nocturnal again now they were deep in the Soul world. I couldn't be a creature of the night like them; I had to work within that world, starting to gather supplies.

I didn't want supplies for a goodwill gesture; I was stockpiling for the congress itself. I didn't know how many would come, but I was sure some would. Most importantly, I wanted to gather the necessary supplies before word got out. I wanted to be sure I had a supply of food and water that we could trust. I was taking no chances.

By the time I returned to Falling Smoke's, Alex and Henry had already left, too impatient to wait beyond nightfall. I drove Dorsey out to another human camp. She filled me in on the plan for approaching the human camps. They had organized them into geographical regions, listed them in the most efficient approach order to start with, and found safe base camps from which to work. It was looking doable.

But one camp stuck out; the desert camp that had sheltered Alex, and, unwillingly, me, after the fire. We had never returned. Alex had made only enemies there by forcing them to shelter a Seeker. But now we had to, somehow. They had to be contacted and told about the congress. It was a sore point because Alex wouldn't hear of any us trying to talk to them. Their attacks on him and me were still raw in his memory. But we knew it would be counterproductive to send him. There seemed no easy solution and it niggled at my mind.

I slept in the car while Dorsey went up to talk to the first human group. Finally the car door slammed, waking me up.

"They're interested!" she beamed, "cautious, lots of questions, but excited. _I'm_ so excited!" I grinned back. It was starting! We drove back to Falling Smokes on a high of pure excitement.

***

Alex returned at dawn alone. Henry had stayed with Justin's group to work on the messaging system, figuring out what supplies they'd need, how to build them, and how to move them.

I left him and Dorsey to catch some sleep and went out again to track down supplies. I arrived back exhausted after nightfall, pulling in next to an empty space in the garage. Falling Smoke must still be at the hospital. Muffled sounds of music greeted me as I entered the house, like another world had opened up beyond the door. Alex was playing Falling Smoke's piano. To my dismay he stopped when he noticed me in the doorway. I didn't know what to say to keep him playing. I came to sit next to him on the piano seat.

"Where did you learn to do that?" I asked. He took my hands and formed them correctly over the keys, then slid one hand under my right hand and the other over my left, playing the same simple melody in both hands, his fingers strong and adept. I watched fascinated as I heard the music appear from under my fingers, felt the instrument respond to my touch on the smooth keys.

"My parents taught me," he murmured, "Mum played the balalaika, Dad played the piano," he shifted both his hands under mine, and played harmony and melody together.

"Tell me about them."

"They came from Russia. In the South, where there are always troubles. They… well, they lost their own children there. So they settled here. They took me in and brought me up on their stories. Great and terrible princes, beautiful forest spirits who were wicked if you crossed them, all kinds of mushrooms, more types of berries than there were words for them in English... I don't think they realized I had a culture of my own I was supposed to be learning. And I couldn't be happier dreaming of voracious wolves running through enormous forests I'd never seen."

He pulled me onto his lap, my legs dangling between his. He pressed his face into my neck, playing blind, breathing through the filter of my skin. It was the closest he could be to my Soul body and the warmth of his breath seemed to reach even there. I melted into him, letting my hands float over the keyboard on his. I remembered him playing my body like this, my ribs like keys, strumming my belly, pressing chords onto my wrist. Now I was hearing for the first time the music that accompanied that touch. I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the piano surround me.

"Hey is Falling Smoke back?" Dorsey asked sleepily from the doorway. I sat up and Alex trapped my hands gently between his.

"I haven't seen him."

"His car's back."

"Well he must be back."

"Must have gone to sleep. He must have been wiped out. Bugger, I wanted to ask him about first aid."

***

When Falling Smoke woke up, he, Dorsey and I visited Margie's camp. Alex stayed back to fiddle with the messaging machine design.

The camp was strangely quiet when we arrived, everyone talking in whispers. Alida led us to Margie, who was sitting with Etty asleep in her lap. Margie put her finger on her lips. Etty had a powerful fear of Souls and always ran away when we were in camp. She knew all about us, of course, as she listened to the others talk, but nothing had tempted her to be interested in us. Alida was contemptuous of her little sister for this, and prided herself on her familiarity with us. Still, even elder sister jibes hadn't worked, and this was the first time I had seen more of Etty than part of a face peering around a trunk or a ragged dress sprinting into the trees.

I gazed at her fascinated, as we all sat down noiselessly around Margie, wondering what Etty would do when she woke up.

"Alida, why is Etty so afraid of us?" Falling Smoke asked.

Alida went into a pout, crossing her arms and sticking out her chin. Margie gave her shoulder a friendly shove.

"Etty saw the Souls take their parents away. And she was there when her parents bodies returned, looking for them."

"I was out getting food," Alida said resentfully, digging at the ground with a stick.

"She hasn't talked since," Margie said, caressing her head. Etty shifted in her sleep and we all held our breath, but she slept on.

Dorsey told Margie about the proposition for a congress between Souls and humans. We were hoping against hope that Margie would be in favour as we needed all the humans we could trust to help us.

Alida's elbow nudged me ever so gently, though she continued to stare at the trench she was digging with her stick. I looked at Etty from the corner of my eye and saw that her eyes were open, and she stared at Falling Smoke and me, frozen still. Margie was smiling as she spoke but made no other sign that she knew Etty was awake. So I made the effort to ignore her too, though I ached to see Etty relax.

Margie was cautiously optimistic about the congress, and interested in helping out. We told her the logistics we had worked out so far, and the problem with the desert group.

"That desert group, that's Shana's camp now," Margie said. Dorsey and I looked at each other, hardly daring to hope.

"You know her?"

"She's Stan's cousin."

We were unable to believe our good luck.

"Do you think he would deliver the message?" Dorsey asked, holding our breaths.

"For you guys? He'd do anything. You saved his life, not to mention his little sister…" we grinned at Falling Smoke. "But he just left to go down there, Shana's had a second baby. Her first boy died in that fire." _Just like mine_, I thought, a familiar ache awakening inside.

"He only left a few hours ago though-" Margie said, noticing our deflated expressions.

"We can still catch him!" Dorsey said, grabbing my arm.

"What about Alex?" I said.

"He's not going to like it." Dorsey said grimacing.

"Don't worry about Alex, I'll take care of him. Drop me off in the outer suburbs, I'll catch a taxi home and let him know what's going on," Falling Smoke said.

Dorsey and I beamed at each other, and we all sprinted for the car.


	5. Chapter 5 Running

**Running**

***

I parked the car in the garage and waited for the roller door to shut. Dorsey and I got out of the car, tired but pleased with a good days work. We had caught up with Stan a long way before we were anywhere near Shana's land, and had drilled him in what to say to her group. He repeated his lessons faithfully, and we both felt he would be an excellent ambassador for our cause. Now all we had to do was check in on Margie's group in a couple of months to see what their reply was.

Operatic music leaked into the garage from the house, and we followed it inside.

Falling Smoke was holding a bag of soggy frozen peas to his face, half covering a nasty bruise.

"What happened?" Dorset said, shocked, turning down the music. A faint repetitive thumping could be heard from further into the house.

"Ah, Alex didn't take the news very well…"

"Where is he? What's that thumping?"

"That would be Alex."

"What?"'

"He wanted to drive after you. When I got in the way, he punched me. So I grabbed the car keys and ran for the basement. I sort of tripped and threw the keys down the stairs, and he kind of ran after and I, I…"

"You locked him in?!" I ran down the corridor, following the sound of thumping.

"He's been in there this whole time?" Dorsey said, aghast.

"What was I supposed to do? He's an animal!" Falling Smoke said.

I unbolted the door and it wrenched open without my help. Alex stood in the doorway stony faced but eyes livid with fury. I had never seen him so angry.

"Oh your hands!" I gasped. His hands were swollen and bruised from bashing on the door. He pushed past me, making for the largest window in the kitchen. He rested his fists on the sills and his forehead on the glass for a moment. I was frozen in the doorway as Dorsey came up behind me.

"Alex are you ok? I can't believe he locked you up!" she said in anguish. Alex turned away, ran his hands through his hair, and began pacing stiffly up and down the room.

"Uh," Dorsey said, glancing at me, "Are you hungry? We bought some chips…"

"We're leaving." Alex said suddenly. He grabbed my arm and strode down the corridor for the garage.

"Where are we going?" Dorsey asked anxiously, jogging to keep up behind us.

"I don't care," he said through clenched teeth, "We're getting out of here."

He dumped me into the driver's seat. Dorsey sat in the passenger seat, so Alex got into the back.

"Drive!" he barked as I hit the roller door button. I jumped and stole a frightened glance at Dorsey.

"Alex!" Dorsey said, outraged.

"Shut up Dorsey! Would you just, just shut up for once in your life!" Alex shouted. The air rang in the silence that followed.

We drove on in silence til we were clear of the city. I headed west on instinct, wishing we were home. The horizon widened as the buildings fell away. I surreptitiously wiped my wet cheeks with the back of my hand.

"You don't _think_, you just _do_. I can't believe you just went down there," Alex said, teeth clenched still, but calmer, not so loud.

"I can't believe you punched Falling Smoke!" Dorsey snapped back, "He was just letting you know what was going on!"

"He was trying to make me stay behind while you guys went on some stupid suicide mission!"

"He was _trying_ to keep you safe! What, were you going to just steal his car, drive down and haul us back? Now that wouldn't have been dangerous would it? What the hell did you think you were going to do?"

Alex was silent for a long time.

"I suppose I would have got half way down and thought of that eventually. Turned around and driven back," he said softly.

"And that was so important it was worth punching Falling Smoke for? My god Alex the guy saved your life! All of our lives! How did you get him in your head as the bad guy?"

"Don't get me started on him, Dorsey! If I never see him again it will be too soon."

"Well you're going to have to, so you better get your priorities sorted."

I saw Alex shaking his head and stare out the window, his facial muscles throbbing with tension. I turned down a dirt road to a National Park. The trees flashed by on either side as we drew deeper into the forest.

"I don't like you guys just taking off like that."

"Yeah well you're not our keeper so get over it," Dorset said, then relented. "It was an opportunity too good to pass up on. You would have done the same."

I turned into the tiny empty car park, got out of the car and started walking. I concentrated on keeping my face impassive, my breathing regular and less and less shaky.

"Flame, wait," he said, catching up and holding my hands in his, "Look, I'm just glad you're ok," he said quietly.

I looked at his mangled hands, slowly pulled my hands out of his, and walked away.

"Flame!" he called.

I kept my focus on my breathing, on my feet navigating the uneven ground.

"Leave her alone," I heard Dorsey say as I walked into the trees. "Do you have any idea how frightening you are when you're angry?"

_Not ok_, I thought. What was I doing with these people? They had shown me time and again the violence they were capable of. That they committed unthinkingly, as if it were normal. _What was I doing with these people_? How did I think I could go on like this? With him? But I knew too of the amazing compassion they were capable of. The touching thoughtlessnesses. The love. Why did they have to contain both?

How could I love something so terrifying? And yet, I knew as effortlessly as I knew where my arm was, that I did love him. I felt trapped, torn between fear and love. I kept walking.

A flickering spatter of silver and the bell-like rush of water on stones told me I was at a creek. I sat down and put my head in my hands. Why did I think it was reasonable for me to love him? In so many ways it was entirely unreasonable. But I had never really questioned it. Evaded it, sure. But then just accepted it as entirely reasonable. It felt reasonable. But was it? I fingered the tender spots on my arm where his hand had been.

***

When the grey of dawn textured the blackness of the night, I made my way back to the camp, sat on a log and stared at the ground. Dorsey and Alex had camped out under the stars. Alex was deeply asleep, but Dorsey came up and sat in front me.

"You don't look like you've had much sleep," she said softly. I shook my head.

"Ok, spill," she said, hugging her knees. I opened my lips, took a breath and looked away. The words just wouldn't come.

"Ok…" she said, "I'll guess."

"You're upset," she said. I nodded.

"You're scared," she said. I nodded again, feeling my eyes prick with tears. I squeezed my lips and breathed deeply.

"Alex scared you?" she asked. I nodded once more.

"He was pretty scary," Dorsey said softly, "But… he was just angry because he was afraid. Afraid of what would happen to you. Well to us, but to you especially. You know better than me what happened to you guys there after the fire. And he couldn't do anything about it."

"Doesn't he trust us?" I asked. She sighed.

"Yes, but he wasn't thinking. He was worried and angry and afraid, and he couldn't think. You know he doesn't handle being trapped all that well. And… I don't suppose sending Falling Smoke to be the messenger was the greatest move on our part."

"He was just letting him know-"

"Oh, Flame!" Dorsey said, shaking her head and leaning back onto her hands.

"Falling Smoke doesn't need to have done anything," she continued. "Just by being there, being himself, _loving you_, would be enough to make Alex upset."

"He doesn't love me," I muttered.

"Yeah, he loves Burning Lights. Whatever," Dorsey said, "The thing is, you put all those things together, the fear, the anger, you gotta kind of expect a reaction. Ok, so sure, he overreacted," she sighed, "Quite a bit. But you know he'll settle down really quick." She watched me thoughtfully for a while.

"You know, when he was little, some kids heard that our people went crazy if they couldn't see the horizon. They thought they'd see if it was true. At the start of lunch they shove him in a locker and locked him there."

"He freaked out?"

"Actually, he was pretty calm at first. He figured they'd let him out eventually. But then lunch ended, and still no one came to get him. His teachers didn't even realize he was missing. It wasn't til his parents came down looking for him because he hadn't come home after school, that they realized. He was a mess when they got him out." She wrapped her arms round her knees.

"That wouldn't happen if you had family around. They wouldn't have let them put him in there in the first place. Plus, someone would have noticed he was missing."

"How come you know stuff like that?"

"Because I appreciate him for more than just his body. I _talk_ to him."

"I talk to him," I protested.

"Not really. You run away, ignore it, clam up, pretend it's not happening. I _ask_ him about stuff."

"You know he loves you, don't you?" she added, trying to read my face.

"Yes," I murmured. She rubbed my arm.

"Get some rest, ok?"

***

As I woke up I heard Dorsey's voice leaving the camp.

"No. You two have got to sort this out between yourselves," she was saying.

I opened my eyes, and saw Alex looking at me, a hint of anxiousness in his eyes. He came over and sat next to me. I made no move to touch him. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. Finally I sat up and cross my legs, picked up a stick and began breaking it into small pieces.

"You were really angry," I said.

"Yes, I was" he said softly.

"Dorsey says you were angry because you were afraid."

"Well, I guess, mainly, yeah," he said. I thought about this for a while. He had been like this at Forek's camp – embracing, inviting violence as if it would resolve his fear. He was sure of himself in a fight. I knew that first hand. I was beginning to understand he did not cope very well when he could not fight.

"You have to stop that," I said, "You can't be afraid for me every time you're not with me."

"Flame, I don't really have a choice," he said, tentatively picking up my hand in his swollen palms. I frowned.

"You can't just go mad and beat people,"

"Ok, you're right, that was a bad idea."

"Or doors," I continued. He smiled and looked down.

"I just don't get that. I'll _never_ get that," I said hotly, but he looked so sad I changed tack. "How do I know you won't do it again?"

"You know me, Flame," he squeezed my hands gently, "Normally I can hold it together a bit better than that. It's just, I don't know. Everything."

"What everything?" I asked. He grimaced.

"Being cooped up in that house, having you guys galavanting off into danger without even saying goodbye, not being able to do anything about it, Falling Smoke being all… smug… and _reasonable_."

"Reasonable is bad?"

"Falling Smoke being reasonable is… annoying. Very annoying. I know he likes you, Flame. A lot. I think everyone knows that. But he doesn't… do anything about it. He's just, nice and… _reasonable_."

"So, what, you want him to fight you over me?"

"No, of course not," he said, smiling at the thought, "but… I don't know…" he shook his head unhappily "I just don't trust him somehow. He's just so confident, somehow, around you, and I don't understand why."

I certainly wasn't going to tell him why.

"I feel like, because he doesn't openly confront me about it, that he's… working behind my back somehow. But he's all smiles and… I don't know, it sounds crazy."

"You're talking about him as if I don't have any say in this." I said. "It doesn't matter what he thinks, or if he has some cunning plan, or if he spirited me off in a space shuttle. I love _you_."

"Even when I go mad and beat up doors?"

I stiffened.

"Unfortunately, yes."

He squeezed my hands and I squeezed them back.

"No more exploding Alex?" I asked.

"I'll do my best".


	6. Chapter 6 Gathering

**Gathering**

*******

"I shouldn't go up there," I said, holding onto the steering wheel and staring at the road, though the car wasn't moving anymore. Alex and Dorsey glanced at each other, rolling their eyes.

"Don't you think we're past that now?"

"This is Justin's group we're talking about. You could probably reel off the contents of their storage site off by heart."

"They know you, Flame."

I shook my head.

"I shouldn't know where the humans are. I'm a Seeker. It's not right." I repeated determinedly. Dorsey sighed, exasperated and looked at Alex. He looked back, defeated, shrugging.

"Well, we can't leave her alone again."

I opened my mouth to protest.

"No. Just, no. Ok?" Alex said.

"You are such a child. Fine. Who does first shift?" Dorsey said. Alex got out of the car without a fight.

"You know, we still have to pick up the other car," I said.

"There'll be four of us again," Dorsey said, nodding, "We'll need it to get round to the other groups…"

I started the car again.

"Uh-oh," Dorsey said, grinning, "Alex looks like he thinks he's being abandoned."

I leaned out the window to touch his cheek.

"We're not abandoning you," I said.

"Well, we are, but only temporarily," Dorsey said. I drove off watching him in the rearview mirror.

"Flame, get your eyes on the road!"

By the time we got back with both cars, there was no sign of Alex. But I knew better than to assume he wasn't there. Sure enough, half an hour later, Henry came racing down the rocky path, Alex following more calmly behind.

"We've done it! We've done it!" Henry yelled. He pulled a prototype messaging machine out of his back pack, and started unfolding blueprints, lists of parts, maps.

"Now we just need to make it," he said. That would require space for parts, I was imagining. Shelter. Access to shops.

"Back to Falling Smoke's?" I asked tentatively. Dorsey and I exchanged a glance.

"Alex?" Dorsey asked.

"It's the logical place," he shrugged, "we should go."

"I'm not asking for your permission. I'm wanting to know if you'll behave." Dorsey said. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"I'll take that as a yes," Dorsey replied grimly, grabbing Henry and going for her car.

We regrouped outside the city. Henry insisted I go for parts first. Dorsey insisted we all turn up at Falling Smoke's together.

"You don't think we should call first?" I asked.

"And say what? You don't think he's going to apologise, do you?" Dorsey replied. Alex looked on unapologetically. I bit my lip.

***

Dorsey drove the boys and parts into the garage while I parked on the street. Falling Smoke opened the internal door as I walked into the garage.

"The lords of Gondor have returned," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was mad or not. "… or is it Sauron?" he added, seeing Alex. Ok, probably not entirely happy then.

"Hi Falling Smoke," Dorsey said cheerily, grabbing boxes of parts from the boot and pushing past him. Henry followed quickly in her wake. I went to load up while Alex stood silently, watching Falling Smoke.

"Well, if we're not going to fight, perhaps we could settle this in a game of high stakes poker," Falling Smoke said eventually.

Alex approached him slowly.

"Sorry," he said, holding out his hand.

"Likewise," Falling Smoke said after a second, and took his hand. I closed my eyes in relief.

"Alright," Dorsey said, pushing past them again, "Let's get this baby cooking!" I passed them more boxes.

"What is this force that returns to torment me?" Falling Smoke laughed.

"We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you," Henry said.

"We're building a mobile messaging system," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Uh, guys, I think that's been done already," Falling Smoke said as Dorsey pushed a box into his arms, "They're called mobile phones?"

"Yeah, well, they don't really suit our purposes," Henry said. Finally all the boxes were in. Henry immediately set about spreading their contents all over the floor. Dorsey and Alex joined him enthusiastically.

"Well. Welcome back," Falling Smoke said, rubbing his neck, "Make yourselves at home. Let me know if you need anything." The others ignored him.

"Goodnight, Hungry Flame," he said, defeated.

"Goodnight," I said, "and thanks." He smiled undecidedly and retired.

***

The next day at a more reasonable hour I called Melts Blue Ice.

"Hungry Flame! Good to hear from you! At least, I hope it's good?"

"I've got some good news about that congress we were talking about last time. I was thinking about meeting up for a chat."

"Excellent. Your place or mine?"

I looked around at the electronic chaos that was Falling Smoke's house.

"Yours."

I had to promise Falling Smoke the humans wouldn't burn his house down with soldering irons in his absence to get him to come. Safe in Melts Blue Ice's lounge room, I told them we'd had positive responses from the humans we'd approached so far. It was early days yet, but there would be some kind of meeting. I ran through some of the conditions we were thinking about already.

"No chairs," I said firmly.

"You can use them as weapons," I insisted to their raised eyebrows.

"And no tents. I want to be able to see everyone all the time."

"No vehicles."

Melts Blue Ice opened his mouth to protest then shut it at my look.

"Right, right, you can use them as weapons," he sighed.

"No phones."

"There won't be reception anyway," Falling Smoke noted.

"We could bring in a mobile receiver-transmitter," Melts Blue Ice suggested.

"No phones," I repeated firmly.

"What, you're afraid they'll use them to bop each other on the head? Send hate sms?" Falling Smoke said.

"These are humans we're talking about! They'll use them to plan, organize, bring in reinforcements!" I said.

"Ok, fine. No phones," Melts Blue Ice said.

"And no stoves."

"Cold food!"

"Oh come on!"

"Precooked. We can warm it up with those heat pack things, one above, one below. They get plenty warm," I insisted. Falling Smoke and Melts Blue Ice looked at each in defeat.

"I don't know why you're even asking us," Melts Blue Ice said, "Sounds like you've got it wrapped up already."


	7. Chapter 7 Watching

**Watching**

***

I stood under the dusk of the shade cloth, sunk in the late afternoon stillness, squinting against the desert glare at the people making their way across the shimmering sands from the checkpoints. The first delegates were arriving: it was starting. I chewed at my lip, racking my brain for anything I'd forgotten.

There was nowhere to hide, either a person or a weapon, the flat desert stretched out to the dark smudges of mountain on the horizon.

The sun beat down and reflected up from the rippled sand, keeping the temperature in the forties so no one could wear coats that weapons could be hidden in. All delegates had to be checked off from pre-identified lists at set checkpoints and searched for weapons, before they entered the congress area. Henry was at the checkpoints, in charge of communicating with the outside world. We'd distributed a messaging system to all the human groups we could contact, plus we'd buried one on the outskirts of each city we'd been to. It made for an amazing network of human voices, especially as it had been agreed that it would be a human-only network, kept secret from the Souls so humans would feel able to speak freely. People still tended to use codenames, but it had been invaluable in organizing this congress.

Shelter was provided by a patchwork of shade-cloths held up on poles, breaking up the rays slamming into it from sledgehammers to tiny pricks of light on the material laid out below.

Food and water was prepackaged, sourced long before anyone would have thought to sabotage it, and we were keeping the humans and Souls mixed at all times, so each would be protection for the other against attack from their own faction.

I could think of nothing else we could do to ensure everyone's safety, other than trust the good intentions of the delegates.

I couldn't wait for it to be over.

***

Souls I knew only by reputation were streaming into the shelter. Humans were edging around them, keeping to themselves.

"Who's he? He was barely civil at check in," Dorsey said, coming up and pointing with her chin at a dark glowering man. Pretty unusual for a human not to be pleasant to Dorsey.

"Oh him, that's… that's Blackheath," Alex said, scrolling through the attendance list, frowning, "We should keep an eye on him. I think they're prison tattoos on his arms." Dorsey stiffened immediately.

"Do you know _why_ he was in prison? Just because someone was in prison doesn't mean you have to keep an eye on them. Gandhi was in prison. Mandela was in prison-"

"Ok, ok, you're right," Alex said. "But if he is Gandhi, he's a trouble maker, and we should still keep an eye on him." Dorsey went to walk away and Alex held her back. "No what I meant was, word has it he was implanted, but he managed to fight it, escaped, and had the Soul removed. He has a pretty fierce hatred of Souls." Dorsey nodded, shrugged him off and walked away anyway.

"I never knew she was so… anti-prison," I said, watching her walk away.

"You're surprised? You know she's been there, done that," he replied.

"Dorsey? In prison?"

"Yeah," he said, then noticed my confused look, "That place up north."

"I thought that was a school."

"Juvenile detention. I suppose they had lessons too. You really didn't know?"

"Seems like I don't know anything sometimes."

He put his arm round my waist and pulled me closer.

"You know enough," he said, kissing the top of my head.

"Alex, may I present to you Melts Blue Ice," Falling Smoke said from behind us. Melts Blue Ice was looking a little stunned.

"Is this your… brother?" Melts Blue Ice asked me. I laughed and shook my head.

"Diane, Cara, and Shepherds Sound," Falling Smoke went on, "He's the new up and coming at the local healing Centre." Alex shook hands with them all.

"Please, call me Shep," Shepherds Sound said, "everyone does."

"Very pleased to meet you all. Flame has told me a lot about you," Alex said, looking at Melts Blue Ice, then his family, "and this is little Cara?" He hovered near her. There was an awkward moment while I could see Diane wandering whether she should let Alex hold her baby. I intervened and took her myself.

"Thanks for coming, guys" I said smiling at Cara and watching as she contorted her face in an attempt to smile back. The others laughed. "Have you got a place settled for the night? Alida can show you round if you like." I called Alida as I handed Cara back. Alida skipped over, took Melts Blue Ice by the hand and let them away.

Henry came up leading a human woman dressed in long draping clothes with a large brimmed hat.

"Flame, this is Kelly. She's the one with the dietary requirements?" Henry said.

"Thanks Henry," I said, and he started back for the checkpoints. "Nice to meet you. If you see Margie, over there, at meal times, she'll have your food separate."

"Thank you," Kelly said, and as I shook her hand I noticed her arms and legs were bandaged.

"Are you ok?" I asked, indicating her arm.

"Oh, yes. It's just my skin condition."

"Will you let me have a look? There might be something we can do-" Falling Smoke said, his eyes gleaming with medical interest. She smiled graciously, looking down.

"Thank you, but no. It is kind of you. But it reacts badly to sunlight."

"Perhaps tonight then?" he pressed, and I gave him a warning look.

"Falling Smoke is our head Healer. If there's anything he can do I'm sure you'll let him know." She nodded.

"Have you found a camp yet?"

"I was just going to have a look around. I don't want to get stuck with all the _boring_ humans."

"I'll leave you to it. We should get on," I glanced at Alex, and he nodded.

"I look forward to catching up with you guys later," she said, waving as she weaved through the crowd. Falling Smoke trotted after her.

Joan spoke first, as the leader of the human group who were hosting the congress. She spoke shortly, welcoming everyone to their land, wishing the congress well.

Melts Blue Ice then thanked everyone for coming and pointed out meals areas, washing areas, rules of speaking and so forth. I listened carefully, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything.

Then the first speaker got up to talk. It was a human, recounting what the invasion of the Souls had done to his family. But I couldn't concentrate for long on the speakers with the first meal to be prepared, and went to check with Henry that all the attendees were in and no one further would be allowed in.

This was it. Three days of congress. There was no turning back now.

***

The first night had been exhausting, with everyone settling in and finding their way around, and last minute things to organize. Then there were night security patrols to walk around the camp, making sure everything was ok. I had the middle shift, from midnight, and felt I'd barely got to bed when it was dawn, and I had to be up again.

The morning was cool, a light breeze easing under the shade-cloths. A few people were up already, enjoying the novelty of camping out in this little oasis in the desert. I walked around the outside of the camp, checking that everything was running to plan. Breakfast to unpack, prepare, put out. Clean up afterwards to organize at the same time as the first speakers… Voices came and went on the breeze, carried from near and far across the silent, still desert sands. I listened with half an ear while I did my rounds.

"It's like being on a Safari isn't it?"

"That sand is amazingly comfortable."

"You weren't cold?"

"Go away, Len, let me sleep!"

"Where's my hat, have you seen it?"

"How did you sleep?"

"What's for breakfast?"

I froze in the middle of tying down a pole line more tightly. The voice replayed in my head. _What's for breakfast_? The sand seemed to shift about me and I clutched the pole til my knuckles pressed white against my skin. That was Bhaskar's voice. I was sure of it. And at the same time, I knew it was impossible. I controlled my breathing and listened again, but now there were no voices I recognized. Strangers talking about mundane things, like any morning anywhere. I scanned the camp, knowing he wasn't there. I let out a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, and continued on.

The morning speakers progressed steadily, with some discussion between the human and Soul speakers, but mostly of a general kind. People were still finding their feet, treading cautiously.

Dorsey came to eat with me as I scarfed down some food at morning tea break. I'd been too busy for breakfast.

"Seems ok so far?" she ventured. I nodded cautiously.

"People aren't really mixing well though, are they?" she said, glancing around the little groups eating together. "Humans, Souls, Humans, Souls… You know I think Etty is going to hide under the tables for the whole congress?"

"Why did they even bring her?"

"She wouldn't leave Margie. Margie thought it'd be good for her, seeing Souls just walking around, being normal. Oh, look, all the Healers have sat together!" she glared in their general direction.

"I think I'll go and crash their private party," she said maliciously, chin raised.

"Can you come check if lunch is sorted first?" I asked, "If we're short anything I'll need you to run to Henry."

"Sure," she said, and I led the way to the food prep area.

I stopped in my tracks, suddenly lightheaded. I could see Bhaskar amongst the sea of people before me. Just his head, from behind, the edge of his cheek, his ear, the back of his head. But I would know them anywhere. I would know him from less.

"Dorsey, do you…?" I glanced at her and when I turned back, he was gone.

"Honey, what's up?" she asked, her brows creased I concern. I shook my head, frowning.

"Nothing." _Seeing_ him now? I really needed to take a break. _Two and a half more days_, I thought, _just two and a half more days_.

Speaker followed speaker with monotonous regularity. I had heard many of their stories before, though some made me stop and listen again, those that spoke well. The Souls were also starting to notice a recurring theme, and had begun murmuring to themselves during the speakers' sessions. Melts Blue Ice had to remind them twice to keep comment for the public discussion times unless the speaker invited audience involvement. I hoped they were beginning to realise what their presence on this planet had really meant.

Lunch was running behind schedule and I was ferrying food platters out to the meals area. The heating technique had worked well. At least, no one had complained. I don't think I would have noticed if it I was eating sand. But the smells coming from this platter – roasted capsicums and baked eggplant – got through to me. I would have to make sure I got some of this one.

Then, I dropped the platter abruptly and ran. I could hear the others calling out behind me somewhere. But I could see Bhaskar. _See_ him. Standing on a rug in the shelter, looking away, relaxed. Older, taller, but his hair, the slope of his shoulders, the way he held his arms... it was him.

I couldn't think, speak, look away until I felt him hard and real against my own body, not a trick of early morning breezes or the glare of heat on the sand. Then I was crushing him in my arms, a real, solid, person, and I really _heard_ him cry out, surprised, and my arms _felt_ his familiar bony shoulders hunch and the width of his chest shifting under them, and my cheek was pressed into his ragged hair.

"Bhaskar!" I whispered.

"Mum!" he said, surprised, then ecstatic, "Mum!" and his arms had wound themselves around me as we sank onto the rugs. Dimly I heard the others pull up behind me.

"Hi Dorsey! Hi Alex!" I heard Bhaskar grinning. But the others didn't reply. I pulled away for a second to feast my eyes on his wonderful face, and that's when I saw it. His eyes were the metallic silver of a Soul.


	8. Chapter 8 Revealing

**Revealing**

***

"Bhask, can you tell us what happened?" Dorsey asked, passing him some more food. He added to his plate happily, leaning into me the way he always had, eating enough for a dozen people like he always had, chatting away as if nothing was wrong. But I could hardly speak, hardly do anything more than hold him and wonder. When I glanced at Alex, he seemed the same as me, but he had the grace to wonder without his mouth hanging open. He couldn't take his eyes off Bhask, and I couldn't tell whether he was overjoyed or horrified.

"You want some Mum?" Bhask asked, offering me some food, and I managed to shake my head.

"They got me that day with the Fire. Do you remember?"

How could we ever forget?

"I went to go swimming with Benny."

"Who?"

"Oh," he said, ducking his head "He lived at the human camp. He was my friend. I know I wasn't supposed to be with the humans, but I didn't go looking, _he_ found _me_. He was lonely too. Plus he liked our food. I figured so long as you didn't know about him, there wasn't any danger. That's why I didn't tell you about him," he twisted round to look at my face. I managed I small smile and nodded.

"That day, he was teaching me how to make a fire. We had waited til a really hot day, so it didn't show up on the heat seeking goggles if there were any Seekers about," he frowned, pushing his food around a bit. "But… but his top caught on fire. We ran down to the pool and put it out, but it had holes eaten all through it, and his skin got burnt too. We stayed in the water to take the heat out of the burns, but when we got out the sun started making them hurt again. So I gave him my shirt, to keep the sun off. We were going back to get our stuff, when we saw our fire had spread into a bush. We tried to put it out, we really did, but it was everywhere, it just kept jumping around." He huddled closer into me.

"That's why we didn't see the Seekers til they were really close. We were trying to put out the fire. I told him not to run, but he was terrified, and … I guess he panicked. He ran away from them, back to the pool, and just struck out straight across the middle. I tried to stop him, but they grabbed me. I could see him getting caught in the current, being pulled too close to the edge… but then I think the Seekers sprayed something on me to make me go to sleep." He was quiet for a long time.

"When I woke up, Boy was there."

"In your head," I whispered. Bhask nodded.

"Is he there now?" Dorsey asked.

"Yes of course," Bhask said, "he's just a bit shy. I'm his first host you know, he's brand new."

"So how can you… talk to us?" Alex said.

"I couldn't at first. It was a bit of a shock. But we take turns now."

"And he knows about... you, about us?"

"Sure, he knows all about us. Well, I didn't know what had happened much at first. I… I wandered if you might have died in the fire. I wondered if that was why you didn't come and get me."

"We thought you had died," Alex managed to get out.

"Oh." He gave me a quick hug. "But then I saw you on the telly, talking about the congress. And I told Boy we had to come."

"Can we talk to Boy?" Dorsey asked hesitantly. I gave her a frightened glance, wondering if Boy would ever let Bhaskar back. Bhaskar looked thoughtful, then his open face sort of dissolved, closed in to an apprehensive one.

"Hello," a small version of Bhaskar's voice said. I felt myself freeze.

"Hello Boy," Dorsey said softly, then gave me a significant look.

"Hi Boy," I said in a strangled voice, feeling the tears star to flow and not being able to stop them. Dorsey rubbed my arm.

"It's nice to meet you," Dorsey went on.

"I've heard a lot about you," Boy said shyly, "I didn't know if you'd be the same as I remembered."

"Thank you for bringing Bhaskar here," I added.

"I wanted to come too," Boy said, "I wanted to meet you, but… but I was sacred…" he was silent for a long time, then Bhask came back.

"He's nice isn't he? You do like him don't you?" Bhask said, looking at us all imploringly. Like him? Like the being that was living inside my son?

Margie strode up.

"The next session's about to start, Flame," she said urgently. I nodded.

"I have to go,' I told Bhask. "You'll stay with Dorsey? Please don't go anywhere? At all?" He grinned and gave me a hug.

"I'll see you later, Mum."


	9. Chapter 9 Burning

**Burning**

*******

"We find ourselves in a difficult situation," Melts Blue Ice was speaking after the last afternoon speaker. He wasn't scheduled to, and I was curious about what he wanted to say.

"We have all heard by now of the pain the Souls' settlement is causing," he continued, "This is very upsetting for all of us. It is hard to know what do to for the good, but perhaps we could at least decide not to do anymore damage. May I suggest a moratorium on implantation of wild humans for 3 years."

A hubbub of conversation erupted.

I spun around and grinned wildly at Alex. He grabbed me tight.

"We did it! We finally did it!"

"We really did it!" I agreed. I don't think I had ever seen him looking so happy. I don't think I'd really realized how much this meant to him, how much he hated being on the run.

"Do I hear any dissent?" No voice singled itself out to disagree.

"Is there any call for further discussion on this issue?"

"Alright, let's put it to the vote. It is henceforth prohibited to implant a wild human with a Soul-" A thought struck me suddenly.

"What about children?" I said, trying to push my way closer to the front. Alex held me back. Dorsey pushed over to us.

"_Any wild human_," Alex hissed, "That includes children."

"It doesn't include non-wild children!" I said, but he wrapped an arm around me and hauled me backward.

"Flame, what are you doing!" Dorsey said.

"Just let this happen. Just let us get this first," Alex said. I stopped straining against him and heard the cheer as the vote was passed. Then I twisted free of him and ducked up to the front.

"What about human children born from Souls?" I said as loudly as I could, while still trying to sound composed. Gradually silence spread around me.

"Will we ban implantation of all human children?" I pressed.

I could see Souls looking at each other uncomfortably.

"What about a minimum age for child implantations?" someone ventured.

"It will not be safe for older children-," I said.

"But the Seekers will not be hunting humans anymore. Why would it be unsafe?"

"Why can't the children decide for themselves?"

"They are children! They can't decide!"

"When can they decide then?" I said.

"It's the parents' decision."

"It should be the parents' decision."

"Parents will want the best for their children."

There were general sounds of agreement on this. I shook my head, feeling rage boiling up within me, clenching my fists. Then I felt Dorsey's hand on my arm and I glanced at her. She looked at me sadly, pleadingly. I knew she was right. This wouldn't be resolved today. Not by me anyway. Melts Blue Ice was concluding by saying that the decision about child implantation would remain with the parents of the child. I felt hope being extinguished with every word. I slipped out to the edge of the shelter to get some air, letting the hard weight of the sun on my shoulders try to dispel the anger, disappointment, and hopelessness, and let me refocus on the job at hand. But I couldn't shake it. The more I tried to squash it the more my anger grew. How could Alex have held me back? Why didn't Dorsey say something? Were they happy that Bhask had to host a Soul? I had never felt the invasion weigh so heavily on our lives as then.

***

I heard Melts Blue Ice call the dinner break. I knew it wasn't fair to be angry with them. None of it was their fault. But I knew if I joined them for dinner I wouldn't able to stop the anger leaking out. Falling Smoke came up carrying a dinner tray each.

"Not exactly what you were hoping for, hey?" he said handing me a tray. I took it and shoved the food around moodily.

"The moratorium's great," I said grudgingly.

"Yeah, you seem real pleased," he said. I gave up pretending to eat and looked out over the desert, black and gold in the setting sun.

"It's not the be all and end all you know," he said, trying to catch my eye, "the congress isn't over yet. And there's still life after congress. You could get some sort of parent's group together…"

"Yeah, I guess," I sighed, "I just thought, it's such an easy step, you know? What's the difference between implanting a stranger and implanting your own child? Surely it's worse to do it to your own kid?"

"I think a lot of parents would agree. But there haven't been that many parents. The rest of society doesn't really understand yet. And to ban implantations completely… well, it's worse than closing the planet. It's like giving up, sealing the fate of Souls on Earth forever. Souls call this place home too now. Some haven't even known anywhere else."

"Well maybe we shouldn't be here at all. Not this way."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know," I picked at the food a little, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but then when I see the fear in people's eyes when they know I'm a Seeker-"

He shushed me, putting a finger on my lips. Oops, right, not supposed to talk about that. Even without my holster I was still the enemy here.

"You've done a lot of good here. Probably more than any other Soul. You do see that, don't you? I mean, you've finally got that moratorium. You've got to be happy with that."

"Yeah, Alex is tickled pink. He's not a hunting trophy any more. I just wanted _more_… I don't want kids to grow up like Bhask had to…"

Falling Smoke followed my gaze to where Bhask sat with the others, pretending to eat and watching us surreptitiously.

"You gotta leave yourself something to do for the future," he said, giving me a little shove with his shoulder, bringing a smile to my face.

"I don't know,_ this_ wasn't really what I had in mind," I said, "It would be nice to get on with_ living_, you know?" He laughed.

"You'd never be satisfied with _just living_."

He was probably right. We watched the sun set and I followed him back to the others, who were settling in for the night. Alex set off to do the first shift of night patrols. I lay down next to Bhask.

"Please Mum, don't force Boy to go," Bhask whispered in my ear, "You won't, will you? I know it's weird, but he's only young and… he's not hurting me. I just want him to decide for himself. Can you do that?"

I hugged him fiercely.

"I thought I'd lost you," I whispered back, "I don't ever want to lose you again." There was nothing I wanted more than to rip Boy out and send him as far away as possible. _To the Fire World_, I thought vengefully. But part of me sympathised with this young soul. Bhaskar would not be the easiest host. And he had not turned him in, so far…

"You're sure he's not hurting you?" I whispered, biting my lip. He shook his head.

"You promise then?" Bhaskar's voice asked. I nodded into his hair, not trusting myself to speak. I felt the tension ease out of his body as he settled down to go to sleep.

***

Alex woke me at midnight for the next shift.

"Anything happening?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes awake and sitting up carefully so as not to wake Bhask. He shook his head.

"Most people are asleep. A few are still up, talking," he replied. I looked around at the small groups huddled around the electric lanterns, and saw a draped form that could only be Kelly moving from one group to the next.

"She's the best social butterfly I've ever met," I said, getting up slowly. Alex lay down in my place and Bhask snuggled into him as if I'd never left. I loved how well they fit together.

I started my rounds, walking through the sleeping forms that seemed to weigh down the night around them with their slumber. I got to the edge of the shelter, walked in the sand for a while, then headed back into the shelter in long, sinusoidal patterns.

A strange smell began to nibble at the back of my mind. At first it was so faint it could have been a memory, but slowly it strengthened, til I didn't need to focus on it to be sure it was real. Still, it wasn't strong. I sniffed the air, then knelt down and smelled the carpet. Definitely stronger down here. Had someone spilt some cider? I rubbed at the carpet, frowning. It was moist, but not wet. I scanned the camp as I lifted my fingers to smell them, and spotted a discarded nest of bandages. Kelly's? And a little further on, a limp empty plastic bladder. I saw movement, and found Kelly still moving between the sleeping forms, but no one was awake now. What on earth was she doing? Suddenly it hit me.

"Hey!" I roared, running for Kelly as she straightened up, looking at me in shock. Then a flame dropped from hands. It hit the floor, igniting a thin river of fire that zig zagged like lightening through the waking bodies, casting glowing orange light around them and growing deep black shadows behind them. Fire burst up the poles in reverse cascades of flame. There was screaming, shouting, crying, panic, people running everywhere, tripping over each other, stepping on each other, smoke filling the shelter, burning shade cloth falling from the ceiling, draping around someone's shoulders as they staggered to their feet.

I was kicking sand over the flames, slapping those that ate at people's bodies, pulling people to their feet, dragging them to safety. I had lost Kelly in the madness.

Then I saw a burning pole collapse on the tables in the food prep area, hauling down swathes of roof with it. _Oh my god – Etty_! I ran over and ducked under a table. Etty was still there, screaming, terrified.

"Etty! Come here!" I yelled, reaching for her, but her screams redoubled in panic at the site of my eyes. I sat back and looked around desperately for some human help, but I could see no one free in the chaos. I closed my eyes and went back under the table.

"Etty, it's not safe here anymore," I said, feeling my way forward blindly, "We have to get out of here." Finally I felt her hand on mine, and scooped her out. I ran out past teams of people throwing sand onto the flames with plates and shoes, slowly smothering what hadn't burnt itself out. I stood coughing in the darkening night as the last flames were extinguished, gazing at the destruction around me, holding Etty close.

The flames had eaten away most of the shelter, but the sand thrown over the rugs had saved most of those. But the people… people everywhere were crying, coughing, shaking, clutching burned limbs and bodies. Then Etty began to struggle and I let her go, seeing Margie making her way towards us. Her hair was half burnt on one side, and I put my hands to mine, feeling short spiky bits where it had burnt away too. Margie knelt down and held Etty close, rocking side to side silently.

Suddenly I thought of the others, and searched the faces around me. Where was Bhask? Alex? Dorsey? Falling Smoke? I began to run, searching more and more desperately each anguished, agonized, stunned face I passed. _Where were they_?

"Flame!" I heard a rough version of Alex's voice call. He was half standing, waving me over.

"Alex!" I grabbed him and hugged him hard.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm ok," he rasped, "Bhask's fine, Dorsey's been burnt." I felt my knees give way beneath me. Alex guided me to the ground, where I managed to sit in a shivering heap.

"Badly?" I whispered. He nodded to where Dorsey lay on a semi burnt piece of rug, Bhask sitting by her head, stroking her hair, a Soul dripping water into her mouth between coughs. I recognised Comforter Spins Gold.

_Dorsey! _

But I found I couldn't go any closer.

"I need to… I need to organise healers, contact someone to get us out of here…" I rambled, looking away, unable to stop shaking. Alex held my shoulders firm.

"She's going to be ok, alright?" he said quietly. I nodded, and left.

***

Falling Smoke was already organizing healers and comforters and allocating them to anyone who was burnt, getting them to show those who weren't injured how to help. He saw me, grabbed a healer and pushed him in my direction.

"No, I'm fine," I insisted, then noticed that my hands were raw and red with burns. The Healer had cleaned and healed them, and moved on to someone else before I knew it. Melts Blue Ice was getting his leg treated, but it was only lightly burnt. His eyes were filled with hurt. I squeezed his hand.

"Are you ok?" I whispered. He nodded sadly.

"Diane, Cara?" I asked, my heart in my mouth. He gave a small smile.

"I sent them home yesterday," he said softly, "I can't believe it. Who would have done this?"

"Don't worry about that now," I said, "We need to get these people to a proper healing centre."

"And soon," said Falling Smoke, joining us, "Welcome to Viet Fucking Nam. We don't have enough medications to cover this. We're already out of Heal, and getting low on No Pain." He surreptitiously pressed a small package of No Pain into my hand.

"You'll have to walk out to the checkpoints," Melts Blue Ice said, "you can call from my phone there."

"I'll go," I said, getting up, but Falling Smoke caught my shoulder.

"I'll need to," he said, "it's better I talk to the Healing Centres."

I nodded; he was right. He squeezed my shoulder and turned to go.

"No I'll go, they know me. You're needed here," Shepherds Sound said.

Falling Smoke turned around to the amassed Healers and gave an impromptu lecture on burns treatments in emergency situations.

"We've got mainly crush and burn trauma. Send any crushes to me. Burns you can all deal with: pain, dehydration, loss of protein, infection. Normally we can treat all of these easily. Unfortunately we don't have enough medications left. That means we've got to be careful how we treat."

He explained how to quickly visually assess the percent of the body affected by burns and add it to the person's age to determine a rough prognosis. He allocated Healers to the worst affected areas.

"What about Dorsey?" I interjected, "She needs a healer, Falling Smoke-"

"I know. But there are others who need it more," he interrupted.

"But you treated my hands and I wasn't even-"

"_Don't _argue with me Flame," he said, his voice steel. "If you want to be helpful, go and make that guy accept treatment."

He pointed to a blackened body surrounded by two arguing healers. I drew my breath in with a hiss as I quickly calculated the percent of his body burnt.

"You must take the medicine!" the Healers were saying.

"It is good for you!"

"It will make you better!"

But the body was having none of it, resisting despite the terrifying pain he must be in. I dropped to my knees beside him, and caught sight of the unburnt side of his face; it was Blackheath. Apart from his face, his arms, chest and legs were all burnt. There was a terrible thinness about his legs where there should have been muscle, and now there was only charcoal.

"Look, Blackheath," I said bluntly, "You are going to die. Not straight away either. These people can help you."

"I don't want their alien poisons" he spat.

"It's not poison-"

"You take it then!" he hissed. _I would love to_, I thought, thinking of Dorsey.

"Alright, hang on a sec," I said, an idea sparking in my head. "Stay right here."

I ran over to Dorsey, Alex, Bhask and the comforter, Spins Gold.

"There's no more medicines, except for this one human who thinks we're trying to poison him," I said quickly, staring at each of them in turn, "Dorsey, do you think you could show him that they're ok?" The others looked confused but Alex held my eyes and nodded.

"He can't come over here?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "he's too badly hurt, we'll have to go to him." We each took a corner of the rug Dorsey was lying on.

"Ready Dorsey?" Alex asked quietly. She steeled herself, nodded and we lifted her quickly over to Blackheath.

"Blackheath, this is my sister Dorsey," I said, "You might remember her from the other day-"

"He won't remember, Flame," Dorsey whispered.

"No, I remember," Blackheath said quietly. I smiled at her. Dorsey is pretty hard to forget. Falling Smoke pushed into the circle.

"What's going on, Flame?" he said. I ignored him, focusing on Blackheath.

"Ok, so I'm not going to poison my sister right? I'll give you both the same drugs," I said, "You can see what they do." I glanced at the Healers for confirmation.

"What have you had already, Dorsey?" Falling Smoke asked.

"A dose of No Pain, about half an hour go," the Comforter said.

"That'll be alright," Falling Smoke said, "Just watch her breathing."

I made up two doses of No Pain each, glancing at the Healers to make sure I had it right.

"This takes away pain. That's all it does. You can't think straight when you're in pain anyway." I showed him the two identical doses. He looked at them and nodded. He watched as I gave one to Dorsey. Her face immediately started to smooth as the pain left.

"Alright Dorsey?" I asked.

"Much better," she said, smiling. I held Blackheath's dose out to him. He watched Dorsey for a minute then took his carefully. It was such a relief to see his body unbend from hunching around its pain, his breathing slowly return to normal.

"Ok?" I asked him after a while. He looked at me and nodded, silent.

"Ok. So next we need to get some water into you, rehydrate you. That's just a drip, same as in a human hospital," I helped the Healers set up Dorsey's drip. I knew he would be terribly thirsty. I remembered from when my legs were burnt. He watched the fluids drip quickly into Dorsey's arm for a while, then nodded his assent, and the Healers set up his drip. I took him through the need for protein to support his body's healing and stop the fluid leaking into the tissues, Inside Clean to fight infection, and Heal to rebuild his muscle and skin. At every stage I showed him what was going to happen by having the Healers use the medicines on Dorsey first. He watched silently, fascinated to see Dorsey's shoulder regenerate back to perfect smooth skin, and finally agreed to each step. Falling Smoke explained that they could only heal so much at once, else they would exhaust his body. Because he was so badly burnt, he would have to be healed little by little, over time.

At last they let him sleep, and I did a tour of the destroyed shelter, feeling the adrenaline draining away. There was no more that could be done tonight, and I returned to Dorsey.

***

She lay still, eyes closed, chest heaving. The Comforter was with her still. Alex slept by one side of her, arms wrapped around Bhask. Etty, Margie, and Alida slept nearby. Only now did I notice Alex's arms had been burnt. _Best not to wake him now he's asleep_, I thought. _Wait for the Heal_. Dorsey opened her eyes as I sat down beside her.

"Here," I said, holding out some No Pain, "I found some more." She opened her mouth and I gave it to her.

"How's Bhask?" she rasped, and Spins Gold shushed her immediately.

"Don't let her talk," she whispered to me.

"He's fine, sleeping," I said, and watched her painfully as she tried a smile.

"What happened?" the comforter asked. I sighed, casting my mind back where it did not want to go.

"I saw Kelly walking around the camp. I think she was dripping something flammable all around. When I found her out, she lit it, and…" I trailed off bitterly. The comforter was horrified.

"I was just speaking to her yesterday!" she whispered. "She was… nice. Why would she do this?"

"I don't know." I said, "I guess she was angrier with the Souls than anyone realized. And with anyone who was willing to work with them."

"Lucky you stopped her when you did." The comforter said. I shook my head. If I had woken people quietly first, let them get away… if I had snuck up on Kelly before she had lit it, shot her even…

"Kelly got what she wanted though, I guess," I said morosely, "It's totally destroyed. The fire has just sucked the life out of everything."

"Strange to hear that coming from someone from the Fire World," the Comforter said, smiling compassionately at me. "Though I suppose fire caused tragedy there too."

Dorsey looked puzzled, and framed her lips into a question.

"You haven't told her about the Fire World?" Spins Gold asked, before she could speak. I cast about for an answer.

"I used to live there," I said. She put her hand on mine in sympathy and turned to Dorsey.

"Many people came from the Fire World because of the troubles," she said, "The fire people consumed the smoke of burning flowers. It fed them, sustained them. We did not know that the flowers were sentient beings too. When we found out, it caused a lot of distress in the Souls. Some people... lost their minds. Some people fought to have the practice stopped. Some preferred to starve than to continue… Many people left." Dorset looked at me searchingly, but I was empty of words.

Spins Gold led me into easier topics, and we talked to Dorsey of home, Edith and George, Jake and young David, seeing them all again soon, until the blackness of night shifted to grey, and a line of light seared the horizon in the east.

As the dawn rose, I looked around the destroyed meeting place. Charred poles held up blackened shreds of shade-cloth that shrugged slowly in the early morning breeze, littering trails of soot moths into the air. Scattered bodies huddled on scraps of cloth, each accompanied by sitting forms, comforting them, tending to their pain.

"Well Kelly did not fully succeed," Spins Gold said softly, looking about her too. I looked again. In each huddle of pain and comfort, there were Souls and humans, together, treating each other as equals, as people. A human gently giving a Soul water, a Soul distracting a human from their pain with talk of other worlds. Here, finally, in the devastation following that act of violence and destruction, humans and Souls were united.

The sunrise was marked by the pink plumes of vehicles' dust trail. The Healer's ambulances were here at last.


	10. Chapter 10 Repairing

**Repairing**

***

Blackheath was already arguing with the Healers. I made sure Dorsey got away with Alex, then went to see what the problem was. Bhask insisted on tagging along with me. I didn't have the heart to refuse him.

"I'm not going." Blackheath was saying.

"You can't stay here, you need further treatment. The Healing Centre is not very far and-"

"I don't care. _I don't care_," he said, "I'm not going back there." Too late I remembered he'd already been implanted once.

"This is ridiculous! I can't stay here and argue with one person when I've got a whole hospital of people to look after in the city. And he can't just stay here." Falling Smoke was getting angry.

"Leave us til last." I said, and the Healers filled other people into the waiting ambulances. I froze, noticing seven black body bags laid on the sand beside them, horrifying in their stillness.

"If you go in they can multiply your muscle and skin cells then spray them back on. You'll be healed and out in days," Shepherds Sound said.

"If you say here," I added, "you'll die."

"Well kill me now then. I'm not going."

Shep and I looked at each other.

"We can't just let him die," I said, "Can we?"

"If you can show me when to use the medicines, I can stay with him," I suggested. Shep shook his head.

"You need to know the signs to look for, and for infection as well, the amount of protein to give… I'll stay with him."

"Falling Smoke's not going to like that."

"He'll like a solution that resolves the problem without loss of life," Shep said, "The way I see it, if we don't heal him, we might be creating another Kelly."

"If we don't heal him, he dies."

"Alright, his family then. Or friends, whatever."

I wondered doubtfully if Blackheath had friends. "But if we do heal him, maybe we'll create another…" Shep searched for the right word, "…another Alex." I thought about this and nodded.

I went to find Joan to ask if we could stay on their land, as Shep went to talk to Falling Smoke. I could see him shaking his head at Shep's words and then come marching over.

"We'll have all our supplies here, we wouldn't need anything from you," I was explaining to Joan.

"You won't be safe here. At least go into the caves with the others," Falling Smoke said. But Joan shook her head.

"I can't watch everyone in the caves. You'll be safer out here. We'll keep an eye out for you."

"Can one of your people stay with us, in case someone else comes along?"

"I can ask, but I don't think you'll have any takers. People want to be with family right now. Besides, you're not on a route to anywhere. There's no reason anyone would run into you. Plus you'll be able to see them coming for miles."

The shelter emptied as we pulled down the least damaged parts to patch together shelter over Blackheath. Soon the desert stretched emptily around us, radiating heat as the morning warmed up. Bhask helped Shep finish covering Blackheath in bandages as an ambulance returned with our supplies. I stood up in surprise to see Melts Blue Ice get out and start unloading.

"I thought you'd gone to be with Diane and Cara," I said.

"I did go; they're fine. Now I'm back." Melts Blue Ice said "What's going on?"

"He won't go into the city. He's afraid he'll be implanted."

"But there's the moratorium now."

"It still stands?"

"Of course."

"Well, he won't trust us."

"Well, I guess you'll need this then." He pulled my holster complete with gun from the back seat of the car. I buckled it on gladly, feeling safer already with the familiar weight on my hips.

"Wait, you're a Seeker?" Blackheath, said, sitting up.

"Yup."

"Seekers weren't allowed. It was one of the rules."

"Flame's not your ordinary Seeker. I can't remember the last time she brought a human in." Melts Blue Ice said affably. "Actually, I think the last time she turned up for work she was breaking a human out."

"Hey, he was wrongfully remanded," I protested, "he didn't need improvement."

"Oh right, he's perfect. You don't think you might be a bit biased in this case? No, of course; you were just before your time."

"Yeah, she's the model Seeker for the new age," Shep said. I smiled and shook my head, showing Blackheath the empty grip and handing him the clip.

"What's this?" he asked, without taking it.

"The bullets. It doesn't do much without them."

"You keep the bullets; give me the gun," he said. I laughed.

"No that's the whole point, see. I'm supposed to look like a big bad Seeker, means I've got to have some pretty mean weaponry in plain view. But, if you've got the bullets," I pushed them into his hand, "I can't actually shoot anyone unless we're in agreement. Ok?"

He nodded, his hand curling around the sleek clip.

***

I sat in under the shelter, peering out into the desert haze, looking consecutively at the four directions around the camp. Nothing changed. Nothing even moved. I rolled onto my belly, but the view was exactly the same.

"Not really all that much for us to do, is there?" I said to Bhask, "We'd be able to see anyone coming for miles."

"Unless they were crawling on their belly," he said.

"I don't know, they'd still kick up dust."

"Not if they crawled slow enough."

"You go try, I'll watch."

Bhask ran off into the desert. Shep looked at me, alarmed. Souls shouldn't voluntarily be leaving the safety of the camp. I probably shouldn't be encouraging Bhask to do things Boy wouldn't be comfortable with. But I wasn't going to stop Bhask acting human for Boy's sake. He'd had to be a Soul for long enough. I watched amused as Bhask belly-crawled through the sand, twisting around to see if he raised any dust.

"You still think the danger is out there don't you," Blackheath said, resting his chin on his good forearm and watching me.

"What are _you_ going to do, bleed on me?" I answered. Falling Smoke would have loved that, I thought, with a pang of sadness. Blackheath scowled.

"There aren't any humans out there interested in us," he muttered.

"My son is human," I said.

"No, he's not."

"Right. Well, he used to be. That was not meant to happen."

"We can hear you!" Bhask called. I cringed.

"Sorry, Boy," I called back grudgingly.

"I can't wait til I get Bhask back," I muttered.

Shep looked shocked and Blackheath looked at me appraisingly.

***

Time passed pleasantly slowly after the madness of the last few days. Bhask gave me a haircut so the short burnt bits didn't look so obvious, then I took it in turns with him dozing and keeping watch. Shep steadily healed more and more of Blackheath throughout the day. In the evening I was woken by a hiss as Bhask lit the gas stove. As the little ring of flames roared into life, I closed my eyes against the sudden image of people burning. I could smell burning flesh.

"Just tea for me thanks, I'm not really hungry," I murmured, turning my back on dinner. The others seemed to have to no problem, and afterwards Bhask came to sleep beside me.

"Is Dorsey going to be ok?" Bhask asked softly. I pulled him into my arms.

"She'll be ok."

"And Alex?"

I kissed his forehead.

"Yup."

He didn't seem convinced, fidgeting.

"Alex grabbed me and got me out of there. But some roof fell on Dorsey. He went back and covered his hands with a rug, tried to pull it off her. But it kind of pulled off her skin too."

I hugged him tight, trying to squeeze the memories away.

"They'll be fine. Falling Smoke will look after them."

***

Alex, Dorsey, Bhask and I were sitting like a little group of pyramids, legs crossed, faces impassive. No one moved. I couldn't move. It was dusk, but the setting sun was a ball of fire lighting rivers of flames through the desert. I watched, unmoving, as flames licked up from the earth onto our legs, up our sides. We were burning, faces turning black, peeling, crumbling into charcoal.

A hand shaking my shoulder woke me up. It was Blackheath.

"You're waking up your boy," he whispered.

I pressed my hands against my face, pushing away the dream, feeling my features hard and real beneath my fingers.

"Bad dream?" he asked. I nodded. I was not keen on going back to sleep. Didn't seem like Blackheath was either.

"You know Shep has something for that. To stop the dreams," he said.

"Yeah," I replied, turning to lie on my back and stare at the stars, "But I want to be able to wake up quickly if I need to. In case."

"In case I murder you all in the night?" he said. I smiled, shaking my head.

"You're not going to kill us," I said. It seemed easier to talk to him in the darkness somehow.

"Why not? I could." _This was an insane conversation_, I thought. But better than sleeping. Better than dreaming.

"Coz then you'd be stuffed," I replied.

"How did you get so badly burnt anyway?" I asked, "Sorry, you probably don't want to-"

"Kelly and I didn't get along. I guess she wanted to make sure she got rid of me."

"Really?" I would have thought they had a few things in common. But maybe Blackheath didn't get along with anyone.

"She doesn't consider me a… pure human," he muttered, "She thinks I've been contaminated."

"Because you were implanted?"

He stiffened, then nodded.

"Better keep her away from Alex then," I said to myself.

"He's been implanted?" Blackheath asked, surprised.

"Yeah, with me," I said.

"What are you still doing here then?"

"Oh… long story."

"I'm in no hurry," he said eventually. I tried to think of a short version. He was silent as I talked. The darkness obscured his face so I couldn't see his expression. I waited patiently for some kind of reaction, and ended up falling asleep.

***

We watched the cars driving across the desert for a full minute, glinting sharply in the early morning sun, before they were close enough to see who was in it.

"Alex!" Bhask yelled, running over to him. I followed walking, drinking in the sight of them together, stretching it out.

"What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you," he said, hauling an esky out of the car, "You always get into trouble when you're left alone." _Lying human_, I thought smiling. I admired his healed arms, running my fingers over the healed skin.

"How's Dorsey?"

"Much better. She thinks she's fine, the healers disagree…" he shrugged.

"Sounds like fun."

"How much longer are you going to be out here?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"He's healing pretty well. Good thing he was fit to start with."

"_He_'s got a name, you know" Blackheath called out. His irritable disposition had returned with the sun.

"He sounds charming," Alex said, raising his eyebrows, "You don't have to be out here you know."

"Yeah, I do," I said, but I knew his heart wasn't in it for arguing, "You want me to just leave these guys out here defenceless?"

"Well I brought you something to hurry it up," he said, hefting another esky out of the car. Shep got up, looking interested as we opened it.

"Spray-on skin!"

"Cool!" Bhask said.

"And a car to get back in," he said, handing me the keys, "For when you're sick of playing martyrs out here in the desert."

"Yeah, Mother Theresa, that's us."

"Well, not too far off anyway. You could be helping me keep Dorsey tied to her bed."

Blackheath scowled.

"All well and good of you to pretend to be some human-loving do-gooder," Blackheath muttered, "but I don't see you practicing what you preach. If you really wanted to help, you'd stop oppressing that body, get out, and go away."

"Flame inhabits an empty shell," Alex said coldly, "There is no one there for her to oppress."

"How very convenient," Blackfield replied. _Sometimes yes, sometimes no_, I thought.

"Yeah, well if it wasn't for Souls like her and Shep, you'd be dead." _Actually_, I thought, _he'd be happily hiding out somewhere and would never have been burnt_.

"Why don't I take Bhask back at least, he must be bored stiff out here," Alex said, putting my hands around his back. I looked at Bhask but he was making mournful eyes back at me.

"It's not boring," he said, "Shep lets me help with the healing."

"I only just got him back, don't take him away so soon."

"Fine," he said, kissing me goodbye, then whispering my ear, "There's a present from Henry in the red backpack." I opened my mouth to protest but he kissed me again.

"Just look after yourselves, ok?" he said normally.

"Yes, Boss," I grumbled and he smiled. I watched appreciatively as his body loped through the sand back to the car.

"You love him?" Blackheath asked, watching me carefully.

"Yeah, I suppose I do," I sighed, still smiling.

"That's weird."

"Doesn't feel weird," I shrugged. _Feels just about perfect_, I thought.

***

Over the next week Blackheath regenerated enough muscle to get function back in his legs. Shep sprayed skin over the remaining burns. It wasn't pretty, but it worked. Blackheath practiced walking back and forth. It was like magic to see functioning flesh where just a few days ago there had been nothing but charcoal.

Shep declared him ready to go home and finish healing there. But when I asked him where we could drop him, he wouldn't answer.

"I let you know when we get there," was all he would say. We gave up and started packing up the camp into the car. Blackheath cooked us to dinner.

"To say thank you," he said. Shep and I glanced at each other, eyebrows raised. Maybe he was changing. Blackheath served us each personally, ladling out a wonderful smelling rice dish. It was good, and afterwards I was so full I crawled slug like straight to my sleeping mat. The others were the same. For once, I slept deeply without a single dream. It was the harsh light of late morning that finally woke me up. I sat up groggily, rubbing my head. Then I noticed the car was gone. And no sign of Blackheath at all.

I laughed. Blackheath hadn't changed a bit.

Shep was distraught. I think he had visions of us being stuck in the desert forever. I had other plans.

"Joan will be watching out for us. Besides, I think Alex was going to come check on us today anyway," I said, pulling on the red back pack. "We're not going to die of thirst in a few hours. Come on, Bhask let's go for a walk." Shep looked at like I was insane. I could almost hear him thinking: _This is no time for a walk, woman! _

We walked til Shep was a smear in the heat haze, then I showed Bhask how to set up the radio. I listened in for a while, but nothing important was being discussed, just friends catching up. I waited for a suitable pause.

"This is a message for Margie," I said finally into the transmitter, and waited for a response. I hoped there weren't a lot of Margie's around. I was about to repeat it when the reply came.

"Hello?" Margie's voice said cautiously. Bhask and I grinned at each other. That was our Margie. She knew as well as I did that, as a Soul, I wasn't supposed to be using the system. So she sounded cautious because she didn't want to give me away to the others. Good ol' Margie.

"Can you pass a message on to Alex?" I said. There was a pause.

"Ok..."

"Can you tell him we need a lift?" There was a longer pause.

"That's it?"

"Yup."

"No problem."

"Thanks Margie."

We packed up the radio and went back to camp, still grinning.

A few hours later, we cheered at the wonderful site of a car barreling towards as through the sand. And even better, Alex was driving. But it was Falling Smoke who got out of the car first.

"Alex!" Bhask and I ran over to him gleefully, before he'd quite managed to get out of the car.

"I thought we knew he was coming?" Shep said, frowning.

We hugged him tight, by-passing Falling Smoke.

"Why, Scarlett! Is this any way to greet a returning warrior?" Falling Smoke said in a mock aggrieved tone. I left Alex to Bhask and gave Falling Smoke a hug too.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to have a look at the patient before he was released back into the wilds."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that. He released himself last night. Took the car too," Shep said.

"Well he must be feeling better then."

"Feeling more himself, that's for sure," I laughed. We packed the dregs of the camp into the car and started off for the city.


	11. Chapter 11 Escaping

**Escaping**

***

Dorsey sat in the hospital bed, unwillingly, itching to get up. I loved that she could be here without us having to sneak her in, pretend she was dead, or any other hare-brained scheme. She could be treated as a real patient. An equal. And walk free again at the end.

I was keeping her company, keeping her talking to keep her in bed.

"Souls aren't supposed to be revengeful, remember?" Dorsey was saying, teasing me.

"Well she can't just get away with it," I was saying, thinking of Kelly, again. "What kind of a message does that send?"

"What are you gonna do if we catch her? Who decides?"

"I don't know," I said softly.

"Where would you even start to look?"

"I know where I'd go if I were her," I said, musing aloud, "I'd go to ground."

"Go home? Isn't that a bit obvious?"

"But you'd know that country. You'd have the best chance of hiding out there. Your people will be sympathetic to you, you could string some sob story together…"

"You are spending _way_ too much time with the humans," Dorsey grinned.

Falling Smoke came in, pulling Bhask along behind him.

"_Boy _can come into surgery anytime. _Bhask_ cannot," he said firmly, dumping him next to me. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I was just trying to help," he said sheepishly, "Shep lets me help."

"Grabbing the scissors and trying to cut the muscle is not helpful." Falling Smoke said.

"You see, he needs Boy to keep him in check," Dorsey said to me. I glared at her over Bhask's head.

"So where do you think Kelly would have high-tailed it to?" she asked Falling Smoke.

"Hell, hopefully," he shrugged.

"No, I'm _sure_ she'd have gone home," I said, picturing routes and distances in my head. "We would have had sightings by now from one of the other groups otherwise."

"It's no concern of ours, anyway," Falling Smoke said, watching me, "No vigilantism, remember?" I pretended to scowl at him. _But we hadn't got around to working out who would police laws, _I thought to myself. At the moment, we are still in a vacuum. And with the moratorium, the Seekers wouldn't be allowed to take her. They would be looking for her, but they wouldn't look at a place the way humans did… what if they missed her? What if she went onto to bigger and worse things? I couldn't get rid of the feeling that this would be somehow my fault. I was on watch when she had set the place alight. I had even watched her do it. I had even organized for everyone to be there, defenceless…

"Come on, let's go find Alex," I said, pulling Bhask up, "Let Dorsey sleep in peace."

"I'm not sleeping!!" she called as we left. A nurse gave us a frown as we hurried away.

Alex would be at Melts Blue Ice's office, talking over the congress, the moratorium, the future. The office was just close enough to walk. I was surprised at how many Souls smiled at us as we walked down the street. Had Souls come to accept humans so quickly? And then I remembered again that Bhask was a Soul now. Well, sort of. It was funny to see Boy take over when there were Souls about, and then see Bhask come out of his shell when surrounded by humans. But I was still uncomfortable with Boy. I wanted Bhask all to myself. And I didn't want to him to have to share his life with another. But, true to my promise, I kept silent. I knew Boy had found the fire at the congress deeply troubling, and I doubted that he would fit into life at home, with the humans. But I knew Bhask was aching to get back home. I crossed my fingers that Boy would see there was no future for him there, and leave.

***

We met Alex halfway there, on his way back to see Dorsey. I marvelled at the sight of a lone, adult human walking through a city. I could see the Souls were uncomfortable around him, keeping their distance, but no one was running screaming. That was a start.

"Alex!" Bhask said, running up to him. Alex grinned, caught his arms and twisted them into a headlock. A nearby Soul gasped and hurried away.

"Have a good session with Melts Blue Ice?" I said as we turned and walked back towards the Healing Centre.

"It's slow, but we've made progress," he replied, "That fire sure didn't help any though."

"That's not fair!" Bhask was saying, as I said,

"That was all Kelly! One person shouldn't be allowed to wreck the progress we'd made."

"The stick in the mud's are all saying I-told-you-so, the humans are completely irretrievable."

"They don't say that to your face, surely?"

"No," he smiled, "That's Melts Blue Ice's genius. He gets me sitting there serenely, and they get all tongue tied, and Melts Blue Ice gets full sway."

I grinned, picturing Alex sitting, eyebrows raised, quietly menacing, in a room full of confounded Souls.

"If we brought Kelly in, if she confessed what she'd done-" I started, but he stopped immediately and held my shoulders tightly.

"Not a chance in hell," he said, staring me straight in the eyes.

"But-"

"No, Flame. You keep away from this, do you hear me?" he said. I was stunned.

"You've done enough," he said. True enough, I thought. I only organized a hundred people to be sitting ducks for her to slaughter.

"You have Bhask back now," he said. "You don't need to be doing anything that could keep you guys apart again, now do you?" Bhask put his arm round my waist. I smiled at them and we kept walking. Dorsey was asleep when we stuck our heads in, so we caught a cab back to Falling Smoke's hotel.

Bhask. Alex had a point. I listened to him babble about finally being allowed to go to training school because of Boy, getting his driving license, aceing Earth Studies. He babbled through dinner, and kept it up while we pretended to watch the bland, crushingly cheery Soul television.

I felt I had to go after Kelly. But what if something went wrong? Even if the humans didn't do something, I could twist my ankle, fall down a cliff… but these things could happen any time. _The difference is, this time you'll have no back up_, I thought. No Alex, no Dorsey, no Falling Smoke. I could die. What would happen then?

Alex would look after Bhask. But how would Alex cope? He would be upset. Really upset. Was it fair to put him through that? I didn't want to think about it. I watched Bhask chatter away to Alex, having long since given up trying to make me join the conversation. It was all things he had told me about in the desert anyway. I felt the long warm curve of his body leaning on mine, and ached to think of losing that contact so soon.

But Alex's words from long ago came back to me: _W__ho here is happy with the life we can offer him__?_

Could I really turn my back on Kelly? Kelly could destroy all the progress we had made. She threatened the future, not just individuals. I went to sleep decided.

Fires were springing up everywhere, bursting into tiny devouring lifes. I tried to slap them out, but everything I touched got covered in flames, burning. Alex, Bhask, Dorsey. Everything I touched.

I woke up sweating. I concentrated on my plan, pushing all other thoughts away. This was the only way to stop her. I hugged Bhask gently and tried to go back to sleep.

***

We drove back into the city next morning. Dorsey was hovering by the entrance and ran up when we arrived

"You're here! Finally! They're letting me go!" she crowed.

"Fantastic!" I said, hugging her, "where's you medication?" She rolled her eyes impatiently.

"We're going home, now?" Bhask asked, eyes alive at the thought. I drank in his beautiful face.

"As soon as we get Dorsey's medication. Take her down to the pharmacy, you know where that is?"

"_I_ know where that is!" Dorsey said, glaring at me and hurrying after him. I turned to Alex.

"Take Dorsey and Bhask back home. Show Edie and George their grandson," I said winningly, "I've got a few things to sort out here first."

"You'll stay with Falling Smoke?" Alex asked, looking at me sadly.

"You're a chump," I grinned, squeezing his hand, "I'll be right on your heels."

"Well, we'll wait a few days then-"

""No! They'll repeal the moratorium if Bhask spends one more minute in this place."

"Hey, I've already been implanted," Bhask complained, returning at a sprint with Dorsey not far behind.

"Yes, you're perfect," I told him, rolling my eyes.

Finally they were safely away.

I left a note for Falling Smoke, buckled on my holster, and headed for the desert.

***

The next day I was in desert country, the road cutting through flat dry plains and weaving around the occasional rocky massif, hiding deep, shady canyons, lengthy cave systems. _And humans_, I thought.

I pulled into a petrol station and filled up.

"Morning, Seeker," the store attendant said. "Out hunting?"

"Following a runaway," I replied, smiling at him and leaning on the counter, "Don't know of any places round here that might be good for humans to hide?"

"Ooh well, they'd be headed for Hamersly Range, I'd say" he said, pulling out a map, "known human haunt. No Soul can go in there without disappearing. Everyone stays clear of that. You'd be advised to do the same. The local Seekers'll tell you all about it." I thanked him and drove off, one part terrified to two parts excited. I was close to Kelly now and I knew it.

My phone rang and I answered it automatically, lost in thought.

"Flame, are you on your way?" Alex asked, a hint of worry in his voice. I hit my forehead silently.

"I'm still with Falling Smoke," I lied bluntly, "Hold your horses, I'll be on my way soon. You don't have to worry, I'm leaving him any minute." There was a silence on the other end of the line.

"But I just called him-"

_Shit_, I thought, and hung up. _Busted_! I turned my phone off. Ok, so Alex knew I wasn't with Falling Smoke. So, he still doesn't know where I am exactly, what I'm doing. Alright, so he probably does know what I'm doing.

Then the familiar skyline I had been looking for rose up from the horizon.

_But he can't stop me now_, I thought.


	12. Chapter 12 Imprisoning

**Imprisoning**

***

I left my holster in the car. No point antagonizing an already edgy bunch, I reasoned. Even confident people tended to shoot first and ask questions later when Seekers got too close.

The rocky skyline loomed in front of me, black against the paler night sky. I started up the slopes of the massif quietly, keeping my ankles strong in the scree. I just needed to make sure Kelly was here. I didn't necessarily need to try and capture her. But first I needed a place to watch from. I ascended slowly, looking for a small cave to shelter me during the day. They would have to make a supply run at some stage, surely. The heat seeking goggles would pick them up, and then I'd know where to look for their camp.

The moon had set by the time I found a level floored opening in the hillside with a good view of the surrounds. I ducked inside and set up a tiny camp. I sat on my mat, stretching my aching calves, and began scanning the hills and valleys around me. I couldn't see the car from here. This was good. I wondered if I'd see Seekers out here, looking.

Suddenly, my arms were pinned behind my back and a hand clamped over my mouth.

"We getting them home delivered now?" I heard a man's voice say, hauling me to my feet. Fear muted me. I tried to think positively. At least I'd found them.

"Right on our front doorstep. Doesn't get easier than this," another said. I was camping in their entry? Of all the stupid luck. _Why_ had I thought I could camp in their territory without them finding me?

They made me walk in front of them into the cave, which lengthened into a tunnel round a corner. They hadn't bothered to blindfold me. I couldn't help but take that as a bad sign.

They flicked on a torch on as the starlight was blocked out by the tunnel's twists and turns. Finally we arrived at a cave outpocketing from the main tunnel.

A collection of silver eyes shone back in the darkness as the torch beam swept over them. Bodies huddled like barnacles on the rock floor, frozen and silent, watching our every move. They were not tied up, or in any way restrained, but didn't move from where they sat. The lone guard was the only thing to keep them there. I guess they knew by now that Souls would not attack.

They pushed me inside and I sat obediently, trying to think through my next move. It seemed like a main entrance tunnel we had come down. If Kelly was active, I might get lucky and see her walk down it. I wasn't feeling particularly lucky tonight.

***

It wasn't long before the guard got bored, and started wandering around, looking for some entertainment. He walked slowly, winding between us, like a predator hunting out the weakest prey. Like good prey, we froze as one, desperately hiding our weaknesses. Finally he got sick of waiting for us to break, and nudged a girl with his knee as he walked past. She yelped automatically, then slapped her hands over her face and hid her head between her knees.

"What was that?" the guard said, turning slowly and standing in front of her.

"You got something to say?"

She was as immobile of the rest of us again, but the spell was broken; she was fixed in his sights now.

"Talking's not allowed," he said calmly, "Is it?" He smacked her shoulder with his torch. She stifled another yelp.

"Not allowed!" he yelled, hitting her again.

Terror kept everyone motionless as he beat her without reason, without end.

"Leave her alone!" I said, jumping up suddenly, unable to sit silently and endure it any longer.

"Sit down," the guard growled without even looking at me. I knew then that he would not stop unless I _made_ him. I suddenly understood Alex's actions at Forek's camp. I had to do something. Most of the Souls had looked away, some were trying to pull me back down. I twisted away from them, ran over to him, and punched him fast and hard in the side as his arm came up for another swing.

His eyes were shocked as well as smarting as he turned towards me, elbow folded down into his side, guarding, holding the pain. His other hand had released her, but she sat, huddled, shaking, still awaiting the next blow.

"_Seeker!_" he hissed, fury distorting his face. I kept my face strong against the fear rising inside me.

"Leave her alone," I repeated firmly, and quietly, backing away. Finally she scuttled away into the beckoning arms of another Soul, as the human advanced on me slowly. I waited for him to attack.

His first lunge was easy to dodge, but then he slowed and reappraised me. He went for me again but I managed to catch his wrists and swing free of him, smacking him into the wall with his own momentum. There was just no room to maneuver here. Finally he'd had enough and called out for his mates. After a moment of tense stand off, two other guys came running down the corridor, preceded by a light jerking to their footsteps.

"Seeker," the guard said, nodding at me.

"Kill it," one of the others said. Ok, this was bad.

"What, you're afraid of a Soul now?" the second said. Time to look meek and submissive.

The three angled themselves around me, edging me into a corner, then attacked together, throwing me to the floor and twisting my arms behind my back.

"There, not so hard, was it?" the second guy said. The guard kneed me in the guts for emphasis.

"Get the handcuffs from the last one," he muttered.

The handcuffs bit into my wrists as he closed them tight, and I was shackled to the floor like a dog. Thankfully they'd had enough excitement, and left me alone. The other Souls left me alone too. Troublemaker. Best to keep away.

After a while, I realised they weren't coming back. My breathing slowed and my shivering gradually stopped. I closed my eyes, thinking hard of being home, lying in the grass beside the river, Bhask bombing Alex with a splash of ice cold water spraying all around. The sun filtered through the leaves, the wind moving them in endless kaleidoscopes. I knew I was dreaming when Icefire emerged from the bushes, feeling the leaves, gazing at the river. I waited for him to see me, but he didn't. And I didn't call out.

***

A hand on my shoulder shook me gently awake. Alex was kneeling down in front of me. Was this a dream still? But I blinked and he was still there.

"Alex!" I hissed, "What are you doing here?" My arms ached to hold him, but they were held fast.

"Looking for you," Alex said quietly, face tense, "Falling Smoke and I put two and two together." He held a water bottle to my lips. "This was one of those 'do first, think later' things, wasn't it?"

"Oh just get me out of here. And I thought plenty."

"Obviously."

"Where's Falling Smoke?" I asked, looking behind him. Other Souls were silently tending to the other captives, but no Falling Smoke.

"He's looking for Kelly," Alex said.

"Have you got a gun? We've got to get out of here," I said, "These people are crazy." Alex nodded.

"We've got Seekers waiting outside. We just wanted to get you out safe first. Had no idea there would be so many prisoners! What does she want with them?"

I shook my head.

"I don't know. Where's your gun?"

"Falling Smoke's got it. I figured he'd need it more."

"They're coming!" a Soul whispered in panic. I felt fear prickle through me. People silently scrambled for the exit tunnel. I yanked viciously at my handcuff's chain but it held fast, bolted to the rock. Alex began to beat ineffectually at it with a stone. The cavern was now empty but for us and the edge of light that could be seen advancing up the tunnel.

"No! No, _please_ Alex, please just _go_," I hissed, trying to shove him away. He squared his shoulders against me and kept bashing at it.

"You don't know what they're like, you've got to get out of here," I implored.

He gave up the rock, took my head in his heads and held it still.

"I'm not leaving you," he said quietly. I shook my head desperately.

"Not you too. No..." I murmured. Visions of Icefire superimposed on his face. The memory was so vivid I could feel the rubble pressing down around me, holding me down, the torchlight reflecting from Icefire's eyes and pendant.

"Icefire," I whispered, "You have to go…"

"Sh," he said, wiping my tears, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Please, Icefire," I sobbed, "please…" _We will never be apart, _Icefire whispered, his eyes dying in the torchlight.

"Well what have we here?" Kelly's voice froze the air. Alex turned and put himself in front of me. Kelly had her gun leveled at me.

"The worm and her dog," she said, smiling, taking of the safety.

Falling Smoke stepped into the cavern from behind her, a gun pointing at her chest.

"Drop the gun and move away, Kelly," he said in a dead flat voice. She looked at him from the corner of her eye, her body stock still. Then in an instant she whipped around and turned the gun on him.

"Oh, marvellous. You're going to kill me. What a finely-tuned response to the situation," Falling Smoke said calmly.

Kelly fired at him. He fired at the first flicker of movement, and she hit the ground, dead.

Alex grabbed Kelly's gun and blew the bolt holding my chain off the rockface. We scrambled over to Falling Smoke.

"Oh my God," I breathed. His eyes stared unseeingly and his breath came in wet labored gurgles. His chest was a mess of blood.

"Falling Smoke!" I said, teeth gritted, voice breaking "You wake up now!" I pulled the medical kit off his back, and fumbled with the zippers with shaking hands.

"I can't, I can't do this without you. Come on! _Please_!"

I finally ripped open the Heal. His breath came in slower, wetter gasps. Alex stayed my hands and looked me in the eyes.

"Put him in me," he said, and turned Falling Smoke over to reveal the thin red line on the back of his neck. I looked at him in shock.

"Alex, no!"

"Just do it, Flame," Alex said quietly, "he's dying." He pulled off his shirt and lay face down on the rock. I couldn't think. With trembling hands and stinging eyes I did as he asked. Then I sat and sobbed, waiting for him to wake up.

Slowly, Alex's face tensed, his brow furrowed in pain. I went over to him, watching his eyes begin to flicker. Finally he opened his silvered eyes, and looked unseeingly upwards.

"Alex," he whispered," I'm so sorry." And his eyes closed again.

"No!" I shouted, "Wake up! Alex! Falling Smoke! I can't carry you out of here! You have to wake up!" I shook him and pulled at him til he was sitting up. He groaned, putting his hands to his head.

"Get up!" I hissed frantically, hauling on his arm, "Come on, we're getting out of here!" He stumbled to his feet, and half carrying him, we ran down the tunnels for freedom, leaving Falling Snow behind.


	13. Chapter 13 Lingering

**Lingering**

***

"Falling Smoke first came here because of injuries sustained on the Fire World," the Healer explained. The Fire World. Of course. Who hadn't had a life ruined by living there?

The white walls of her office felt like blank lights trained on me. I hated them with a passion. Maybe it was helpful to hate something like walls when the real issues were so impossible. We had been at the Centre for Adult Implantation for days, and Falling Smoke was as good as in a coma. Although I was told that wasn't technically correct. He was awake. But he was just as unresponsive. I had no way of knowing if Alex was still in there somewhere. I couldn't believe Alex was here, after all that happened to keep him away from this place. And I had brought him here. Worse, I had even implanted him.

"On the Fire World, Falling Smoke had been… tortured by the rebels," the Healer continued. I felt instantly sickened. I knew all too well the violence the rebels were capable of.

"But I don't understand," I said. "Why were these injuries not left behind with his body?"

"These were psychological injuries," the Healer explained, "His mind was almost shattered. Normally there would be no hope, however…" She looked a little uncomfortable and cleared her throat.

"Several memory blocks were put in place to allow him to regain normalcy," she continued. "It was a new technique, revolutionary if it worked. And it did. It has been very successful, so far. But, his recovery being so prolonged, and difficult…" _What recovery_, I thought, but kept quiet, waiting.

"It is possible that the new insertion has damaged those blocks."

"What does that mean?" I asked, my mind trying and failing to grasp her words, "That he's… insane?"

"Not necessarily," she said. _Not necessarily??_ I thought. She folded her hands.

"It may have unlocked memories that are… difficult to deal with," she said "But with time, there is hope that he will regain lucency."

I was stunned. I was starting to understand the horribleness of the situation Falling Smoke was in.

"And… and the host mind?" I whispered.

"It's uncertain," the healer said, "If still present, the host mind will be drawn through the same process."

_Oh Alex_, I thought, _what have I done?_

_***_

Sitting in the waiting area was a change from the white cube of a room Alex was in, staring at the ceiling, oblivious. At least no one ignored me out here. Well no one I wanted to talk to anyway.

I noticed the nurses whispering to each other, looking down the entrance corridor. A woman was walking down it hesitantly, like she was entering a tomb. Suddenly I recognized it was Margie, and got up to meet her halfway.

"Dorsey sent me a message for you. There's been some trouble between the human groups, she can't get back for a little while," Margie said.

"Oh well. No rush. Nothing happening here," I said, trying to smile, "Thanks Margie. It can't have been easy coming here."

"Why don't you stay with us til she comes? Must be lonely here."

"Thanks, but I think I'll stay. He might…" but I stopped, confused about who I meant by he. Margie squeezed my shoulder.

"He'll come through," she said, "He's strong, he's a fighter."

But I didn't really know who I wanted to come through. Falling Smoke had saved our lives. He didn't deserve to die. Alex had chosen this path. But Alex… what had he done to deserve this? There was definitely not room for both. The survival of one meant the death of the other. Didn't it? Or could I lose both of them? Margie left me alone to my thoughts.

***

The nurse introduced a visitor. It was a Seeker I hadn't met before. He wanted to talk to me about Kelly's camp. Of course, there had to be an independent report. Especially seeing as a host was killed, and a wild human, and another implanted, all as a result of Soul action. And this after the moratorium. It didn't look very good on paper. I was sure it was somehow different at the time, but I couldn't help but sound defensive.

"Look, no one's attacking you here. There's just concern about… well, your use of force. Maybe it was a little excessive."

"What?" I stared at him. I was shackled to the floor. I didn't even have a gun. Hell, I didn't even bring my gun with me.

"The incident with the guard. The other prisoners told us about it." I looked at him, stunned. That was what they were concerned about? They thought I was wrong to have stood up for the other prisoner? I suddenly understood how Alex must feel whenever I chewed him out about his excessive violence.

"I was supposed to just sit there and let him beat her?"

"Violence is not our way, Hungry Flame."

I was too stunned to speak.

"So what does this mean?" I asked eventually.

"Well, nothing's decided yet," the Seeker said comfortingly, "But I'd suggest keeping to the cities for a while. A little less human influence perhaps."

I nodded, not agreeing, but acknowledging. It made sense. It's what I would think if I were them. It was also so not going to happen. Unless, of course, Alex didn't wake up soon. Then I could be hanging around for a while.

"What about Kelly?" I asked in a whisper.

"The wild human? Unfortunate, but by all accounts she was a bad egg. Do you know she had kidnapped all those people to use as mobile bombs? She was working on explosive that could be hidden in jackets so the Souls didn't know they were carrying them. Then, when they went home…

"And losing a host is always regrettable, especially in these times, but you saved the Soul. That's commendable."

I realized he didn't really care about the humans. He was looking at the whole incident from a Soul's perspective. I felt sickened.

"I understand you've been under a fair bit of stress lately. You should take it easy for a while," he finished. I hardly noticed him leave.

***

I sat at the piano in the comforters' area, stroking the keys softly, trying to find the melody Alex had got my fingers to play. I willed my fingers to remember for me. But I was grasping at straws that disintegrated at my touch. Then I noticed Bhask standing in the doorway listlessly.

"Hey, what's up?" I called to him, reaching an arm out to him, looking for Dorsey behind him. But it was just Boy that spoke, walking tentatively over to me.

"I've decided now. I'm going to go."

My breath caught in my throat as I crushed him against me tight. I should have been ecstatic. But his sadness had infected me too. I remembered he thought of me as his mother. Some mother I'd turned out to be.

"Are you sure?" I said. He nodded.

"This isn't the right place for me," he said, "but it is the right place for Bhask."

"Where are you going to go?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know anywhere else."

"Somewhere quiet," I suggested.

He nodded. "_No_ fire."

"Right," I thought a while, "What about the Sea Weeds? Definitely no fire there. You never get lonely either."

He was silent for a while then pushed away from me.

"Ok," he said. I felt wretched there was no room for him here. But then Earth seemed a very crowded place just at this minute. At least as far as Souls were concerned. But this what I had wanted, wasn't it? What we worked towards?

"Thank you," I called after him softly.

I watched from outside the surgical theatre as they took Boy out, leaning on the glass with my shoulder. They had just separated him from Bhask's body when a nurse tapped me.

"Falling Smoke is talking now," she said, "I thought you'd want to know."

I stayed leaning on the glass for a minute more. Falling Smoke was talking? I tried to convince myself this was a good thing.

But all I felt was despair.


	14. Chapter 14 Surfacing

**Surfacing**

***

"Falling Smoke?" I asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice. Alex's face focused on me, frowned, and looked away. Alex's face and Falling Smoke's eyes. The sight made my chest singe with grief.

"You look real happy to see me," Falling Smoke said coolly. It took me a minute to respond.

"Bhask is in surgery," I said finally, "Boy's going to the Sea Weeds." Then I bit my lip, wondering if he would think I was trying to make him leave.

"Too much, huh?" he said softly. Puzzled, I didn't know what to say.

"How are you?" I said finally.

"I've been better," Falling Smoke said.

I ached to ask about Alex, but somehow didn't dare.

"Well you'd better go see him. Don't want Bhask waking up to an empty room," he said. He was getting rid of me. I sat for a moment more, unbelieving, then got up to go. He didn't even glance at me.

As I left I noticed his fists unclench from the sheets.

I got back just as Bhask was waking up.

"Mum!" he whispered happily. I pulled him over to me and hugged him hard.

"It's ok, Mum," he said, "I'm fine."

I started to cry.

"Mum?"

I didn't want to worry him, but I couldn't let him go. I tried to smile, but it only curdled my breath with sobs.

"Where's Dorsey?" I said finally through my tears.

"She had to pick someone up from Margie's camp. Someone got injured. She'll be right back. Mum, what's wrong?"

"Is Alex ok?" he ventured hesitantly.

"I don't know," I said through my tears.

***

Dorsey found me later, curled around Bhask in his bed.

"Can you go find Alex?" I heard Bhask say as she knelt down beside us. I squeezed my eyes shut, holding on, holding on.

"How is he?" Bhask whispered when she returned.

"He's still Falling Smoke," I heard Dorsey say softly, and felt her arm wrap around us.

"He can't stay," Bhask said in a hard voice, "it's illegal to implant wild humans now."

"Yeah," Dorsey said, "But that means he can't go either."

"I want to see him," he said, "Mum, come on. Let's go." He got up and pulled me into a sitting position.

"I don't think he's particularly interested in seeing me," I whispered.

"This is Falling Smoke we're talking about?" Dorsey said disbelievingly. I winced.

"Sorry. He is still Alex, you know. Somewhere," she added, "Alex wouldn't give up."

"A little Dorsey pep talk isn't going to fix this one."

"I know," she said softly, "I wish it would. Come on. You can't avoid him forever."

***

I walked as slowly as I could to Falling Smoke's room. I didn't want to see the body I loved possessed by another. Even Falling Smoke. Finally we got to his door. I braced myself and went in.

"What have you done?!" I said, horrified. His skull was covered only in tiny stubble; he'd shaved his head and beard. It still lay around him on the floor, where a nurse was vacuuming it all away. He looked both more aggressive and more vulnerable without his hair. Without Alex's hair.

"So nice to see you all too. Hey!" he said, as I grabbed his head, pressing the prickles of hair into my fingers to convince myself he had really done it.

"It's just a haircut!" He pulled my hands off his head, "The nurse says short hair's all the rage after the fire."

"What?" I shouted, then controlled my tone as the nurse glanced at me. "Why?"

"I was getting sick of people taking me for Alex. I'm not Alex," he said firmly.

"No. You're not," I replied, folding my arms and stepping away.

***

"How exactly do you get to be mad at him?" Dorsey asked, pursuing me down the corridor, "You're the one that put him there." _I know I know,_ I thought. _I know that too, too well_.

"I'm not mad at him."

She gave me a look.

"Ok, I shouldn't be mad at him," I amended, "but I am." I groaned. This was a mess. I was a mess. I knew I shouldn't be taking it out on Falling Smoke, but just seeing him there, being not-Alex… it was doing my head in.

The problem was, no matter if he even did try to be like Alex, he wouldn't be. He was not Alex. It was right then that he shouldn't try to be Alex. I pressed my palms against my face, leaning on the wall of the corridor.

"I just want Alex back, Dorse," I said finally. And for once, she had nothing to say.

***

Alex sat in a wheelchair in the Healer's office. It was Alex's voice I heard, but it was Falling Smoke who spoke.

"He does not mean to fight me, but he does." Falling Smoke was saying. A flame inside me burned brighter with this small sign that Alex still lived.

"He has saved my life," Falling Smoke continued. "I can't let him die." I hardly dared to hope. I was incapacitated with guilt at what I had done. Falling Smoke had survived; must this mean I had condemned Alex? The thought was unbearable.

Why had I been so stupid? How could I have done this? _Because he asked you to, _said a small voice inside. Why was it that he could reasonably forbid me to do something, and I could defy him as easily as breathing, but if he quietly asked me to do something crazy, I obeyed like a drone? _Didn't think, just did_, I thought miserably. He'd been right: I hadn't thought about others getting hurt.

"You must take me out and free him," Falling Smoke was saying.

"I'm sorry. There are no hosts available since the moratorium," the Healer explained, shaking her head, "I do understand your wishes, but I can't."

"You will not need a host for me here," Falling Smoke said quietly, smiling a small, very Falling Smoke smile. We both looked at him in shock.

"Send me back to the Fire World."

As they wheeled him away, he pursed his lips and began to whistle the theme from the Great Escape.

***

I hovered over the hospital bed, clenching Alex's hand in mine.

"I don't know," Dorsey said, peering over my shoulder, "I don't see anything…" she sighed quietly. "Why don't you just lie down for a second. You'll be right here. I'll watch him, and I'll tell you as soon as I see anything." I shook my head. This was the third time today we'd been through this routine.

"I _saw _something, Dorsey," I insisted, "he moved, I'm sure of it." Dorsey sat back down, fatigue and frustration making her movements inelegant for once. She said nothing.

But I had seen something, and I scanned his face again and again, looking for a sign that he was waking. It had been 40 hours since Falling Smoke had been taken out, but Alex had not returned. _Yet_, I told myself.

"You're not leaving me" I whispered determinedly. Then, so slowly that I wondered if I was dreaming, his eyelids shivered again and opened to reveal his wonderful blue-grey eyes staring at me. He smiled, and it was _Alex_'s smile.

"I'm not going anywhere," he whispered. My mouth opened in joy and amazement and I faintly heard Dorsey shriek behind me, and Bhask whoop and start running towards us from the snack machine.

"Ow," Alex said, smiling still, twisting his hand out of my mine and cradling my neck. I let him pull me down to him and kissed him gently.

"Oh you guys," said Dorsey, "You'd think you'd been apart for months or something." Alex threw his pillow at her and we grinned at each other.

"Welcome home," Dorsey said.


	15. Chapter 15 Remembering

**Remembering**

***

We sat on the hillside, watching the shuttle maneouvre for take-off. Falling Smoke was on there, somewhere. Leaving us forever. He'd wake up in hundreds of years and all this would be ancient history.

I couldn't sit close enough to Alex. I was pressed all along his side. I never wanted to lose him again. He picked up my hand and weaved his fingers round mine. Finally the shuttle was in position at the base of the runaway, booster rockets cumbersomely attached to the sides. We watched in silence as the engines fired, blazed and the shuttle began to move. We kept watching until it was indistinguishable from the exhaust trail arced across the sky.

"He's gone," I said finally. I could be properly sad at losing my friend, now I had Alex back.

"I can't believe he's gone." Alex said, "You didn't even say goodbye."

"I'm not very good at goodbyes," I said.

"Yeah, I've noticed," he said, then kissed my forehead, "Me neither."

"I can't believe he fired a gun." I said. Memories of that horrible time came flooding back. I squeezed closer to him.

"I can't believe he didn't just shoot Kelly straight away," he said.

"He's a Soul, and not even a Seeker. He had to give her a chance to back down," I said. I ran my fingers through the velvet stubble growing back on his head.

"What was going on there, with you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

He shifted so he could search my face.

"You called me Icefire," he said, his brow furrowed, "It's like you were someplace else."

I pressed my eyes shut at the memory.

"The Fire World," I whispered. He was silent for a long time.

"Falling Smoke was from the Fire World too," he said finally.

"You saw his memories?"

Alex nodded, his faced haunted. His eyes were locked on some internal scene. Torture.

"What happened to Icefire?" he asked in a strange, closed, voice. I breathed slowly for a while before I answered, finding my way back to a past I normally worked to repress.

"You know we fed on the smoke of burning flowers," I said, "And then we found out that the flowers were alive, conscious, thinking beings. It was awful… Some Souls completely lost their minds. A lot of Souls left. We didn't. Icefire was badly affected by it all though. It was like he was on some kind of mission, to make up for what we had done. He was completely obsessed." I waited a moment til I was sure I could speak evenly.

"There was a group of fire people that resisted efforts to stop the burning. Some of the Souls that had lost their minds joined them. They were called the rebels, and they fought to be able to live like they always had."

"Fighting for what they believed in." Alex said softly. I nodded.

"Icefire joined a Seeker group trying to stop them. They called themselves the Resistance. It was dangerous work, the rebels were ruthless, violent. Sometimes insane. He tried to keep me out of it, keep me safe. But the rebels were targeting Soul families, trying to force us to back down, give up. But Icefire would never give up. Nor did I want him to. It was a war, but we couldn't give up.

"One day, the rebels destroyed a shelter while a group of Souls were still inside. Many were killed by the explosion or the collapsing structure. Some were trapped. I… I was trapped." I could taste the thick dust in my throat.

"The rebels were searching through the ruins, killing those still alive. I was terrified. I couldn't escape. Those who could flee, left. But Icefire wouldn't leave me. He said we should never be apart." Tears blinded me and I had to stop.

"They found you," Alex said. I nodded.

"But they left me alone. I guess they could see I was done for. But Icefire… they hurt him. Not enough to kill him, but to leave him slowly dying." I could hear his breath slowing, slowing.

"He died in my arms before the rescue team found us."

"They saved you, but they couldn't save him."

I nodded again.

"The Healers revived me, but my body had been without sustenance for too long. It was dying. I told them I didn't want to stay on that world any more. And they sent me here."

"As far away as you could get," he whispered, "Except for the pendant."

"It was what all the Resistance members wore, so they would know each other, and remind each other of their purpose. The Resistance presented it to me in his honour. They burned Icefire's body and put the ashes inside, to keep Icefire's promise to me."

"You would never be apart."

"Yes." I fingered its familiar form around my neck.

"I have seen those pendants before," Alex said, "In Falling Smoke's memories."

"The Healers said he was captured by the rebels."

"Yes. They… tortured him for information. He held out for a long time, but they broke him. I don't think he really knew what was real anymore. They wanted to know about Icefire, he was causing them a lot of problems. Falling Smoke knew Icefire, Flame. I saw his pedant in his memories. He told them where he lived. That's why they destroyed that shelter."

"Falling Smoke…?" I whispered soundlessly, frozen.

"I don't understand," I managed to say.

He put his arm around me and rubbed my shoulder.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, my voice still distant.

"It didn't seem like it belonged to me. I thought you should know."

I resisted as long as I could, then lay my head on his shoulder. This was a memory Falling Smoke would have blocked, I was sure. Being implanted in Alex must have unblocked it. Instantly I understood why he had been so cool towards me. It wasn't me he had been upset with. It was himself.

I put my arms around Alex and buried my head in his chest.


End file.
